I was probably overreacting in my last post at the end but ya know, I was riling coz my poor baby bird got treated bad by some hawkers at some Halal coffeeshop in Bugis the night before for no particular reason.

There she was all exhausted after her gym session, I know coz I was on the phone with her prior. The last time she had something to eat was probably at lunch ten hours back. She always goes to the gym on an empty stomach *wags finger at MLB*.

MLB is not one to be rude to people. She doesn't have a rude bone in her body, not even one. None at all. Sometimes she thinks she's being all Incredible Hulky but it's actually quite funny when she does that coz she reminds me of Tinkerbell in Peter Pan. There she is so petite and adorable trying to be angry and all with her tiny voice. Ha ha ha, baby baby... .

Ahem, so anyway.

My point is, the bozos at the prawn noodle stall at the coffeeshop had no reason to be rude to her. Now, swearing at MLB is a big no-no as far as I'm concerned, particularly when she has done nothing wrong to begin with.

She merely corrected the person preparing her order for preparing her something else she didn't order. I mean, what's wrong with that? She WAS paying for her food wasn't she? She wasn't begging was she?

MLB said to me later on that they'd probably had a bad day. I mean, they don't know what 'bad day' means because I run this 'bad day on demand service' and I really can offer them a bad day if they want it so bad. Only then they'd know what 'bad day' means. Till then they just don't.

But she asked me to relax. That seemed reasonable to me. Afterall there's only three more months to go and I really shouldn't be doing anything stupid. So I did. I counted 1, 2, 3... all the way to 156748, took a deep breath and was rewarded with a clear head when I was done.

Retail therapy also helped. I got myself two new soccer jerseys, a new watch and a um, and uh, and another bag ok. So shut up. What's another bag compared to the health and well-being of a couple of prawn noodle sellers anyway? Harrrumph.

So with a head full of... nothing, being clear-headed and all, to set things right, I took my baby bird o' baby bird o' mine to dinner after she was done at the office. I was tired and all and could really do with the extra few hours of rest but I just needed to see her eat. In front of me. Where I can witness food entering her mouth with my own two eyes.

Obviously it's just an excuse. I don't need a reason to wanna hang out with my favourite person. Any excuse will do. Besides, I'd be stuck in camp for a few days reluctantly performing my national reservist duty next week and I'm pretty damn sure I'll be missing her like crazy.

So yeah, I agree with her when she says reservist should be banned. Or at least shortened to five years or something. There are more important things to do in the real world for non-career uniformed personnel like me than pretending to be cowboys and Indians once a year. The white horses have it easy. What do they know about these things from on top their high horses?

I barely lasted five minutes just now before I had to stop my morning run and turn back home. Sharp pain going on at the joint between my left thigh and pelvis. Aaargh.

I like keeping myself fit. I look good, I feel good, I can take on anything, I can take on anyone, I feel that I can take on the world! But, I'll give it a rest for a couple of days.

In other news, it's a good day for soccer-loving goats of the world. Derby County has won promotion to the Premier League!

Altogether now: Beh eh eh eh EK! Woo!

Also, just a gentle reminder to all who intends to bully my baby bird. Don't. Because all she needs is to call and the cavalry will gallop down and be all over you like a house on fire. Don't mess with the Goat Squad, thank you.

MLB was at my mom's place for the first time last night for dinner. It's the third time they've met.

As usual, my mom whipped up a storm but nothing beats my baby bird. I wanna eat her. She's this small little thing I could roll up into a ball and pop into my mouth.

Major sidetracking there.

There was a lotta giggling and laughing going on as I got surrounded by three women (my sister Bug was there too) who were going on like teenage schoolgirls. It was good.

As an aside, my baby bird has been running around all over the place the last couple of days she must be all pooped out. But she's a strong woman and I know she can handle it.

She does so much for other people and I hope other people would spare a thought for her too, starting with me.

As I moved away after leaving her at the door last night, I stopped for a while to look back at her fumbling with her keys and I don't say it as much as should but I love this woman and I wanna keep her.

I was gonna talk about the obsession with Caucasian-sounding and/or Caucasian-looking personnel by local and Asian TV and movie houses today but I'll leave it for another day.

I wanna talk about this, the fact that I hate to talk on the phone. I hate the idea of people contacting me when I'm in the middle of something. That's why I no longer have MSN messenger on my computer.

I use my phone primarily for its radio function. Class 95 is my friend. However, I still choose to own a phone instead of just a portable radio so I could be reached in an emergency.

I hate people calling my phone to whine, whinge or whatever. It's a waste of time. When you call my phone, it'd better be an emergency. When you call my phone, you'd better be prepared to keep it snappy. At all times.

Other than life and death matters, just send me a text or email so I could check them when I have the time or speak to me when I see you next. At work, there are times when I have to serve customers and I really hate it when people'd call me just to talk about the weather.

Give me half an hour after your text or overnight after your email. If I find your text or email worthy of a response, I will respond. If not, you know why.

And calling me after work for non life and death matters is a big no-no no matter who you are. As outlined in my last post, I reach home, I shower, I pray, I wait for the food to thaw, I cook, I eat then I sleep. Simple as that. Other matters can be taken up with me at a better time.

Should my phone ring after work and should I take a risk to pick your call up and should I find out that it's not an emergency, I will be very pissed off.

Some people work five days a week. Some people work five and a half days a week. Some, six days a week. I work SEVEN days a week. Allow me to have some me time please. It's not too much to ask.

If you can't accept this simple thing, you probably can never. And I'm not willing to live with that.

Many people are probably wondering what else I do besides hanging out with my little bird and having double portions of whatever everyone's having on the dinner table, but to be honest, there really is nothing much going on to crow about.

Well ok there are two other things I'm working on but they're both hush hush and I wanna keep it that way.

The things I do everyday are pretty typical. I wake up at 6.30, I pray, I drink coffee while surfing the Net till 8.00, I take a crap then I go running till 9.00, I rest for an hour, I get ready for work, I masquerade as this knowledgeable IT guy at work, I go for a break at 2something, I get back an hour later, continue my charade, I close shop at 9.00, I give MLB a call, we talk for 15 minutes while I walk to the train station, we put down the phone when the train comes, I reach home, I shower, then I pray, then I'm on the computer again while waiting for the food to thaw, I cook, then I eat and then I sleep.

Fin.

We had dinner at Satay Club City Plaza last Saturday - my mom, my baby bird and me. It was to celebrate Mothers' Day. My mom liked the el cheapo air purifier we got her. Ok ok it was my idea but MLB chose the essential oil. Good choice eucalyptus. Helps with the breathing it said on the bottle.

The food there was SUPERB with a capital W. We each had a humongous plate of fried rice, different styles all with two sides of fried kai lan and prawn omeetlete but the star dish of the night was DEFINITELY, HAD TO BE, CONFIRM CHOP PLUS GUARANTEE the satay.

Yeeesss the satay was superb to the max. Juicy *slurp*, succulent *slurp* and lip-smacking GOOOOD. I, Goat Almighty ordered a bunch of 30 sticks of satay in mutton, beef and chicken flavours and ended up devouring 20 of those. The poor women had no chance, no chance at all.

The service was dang poor though but we could live with that. We went there coz we heard the food was good and we weren't disappointed, so that's that.

Then we spent like 20 million hours accompanying my mom at First Lady shopping for clothes for my fat sister in Perth, her kids and friends. We only spent five minutes looking for the other people's clothes.

The rest of the 20 million hours was spent finding something in my sister's size. We finally found something at the backroom, somewhere at the bottom of some pile.

The sales assistant said the last time they got something from that far back and far down in the backroom was when some sumo wrestler came by. That was years back when US Masters were the coolest school shoes in the universe.

So we're glad that one's over.

My mom was happy we brought her out. She was especially happy to spend time with MLB. I mean who cares about me right? I'm only like her son or something. Big hairy deal.

Oh ya, MLB and I had brunch at Burger King and I have to say that their breakfast menu is top of the world. A class of their own. I was just shaking my head going "Mm mm mm" coz it was THAT satisfying.

I can't remember what I had but I had two sandwiches while MLB had some kinda um, I can't remember what she had either, but they were juicy, moist and fluffy. In fact they remind me of cats. Go take your kids to BK one of these days. They'd be thrilled.

Last week, one of the shops at my retail mall closed down.

This week, one more bit the dust.

Reason: lousy sales turnover, high high high rent.

My boss tried to sound shocked upon hearing the news but everyone could see through his fake awe. I'm sure that secretly he's very pleased about it. Afterall, these two are one of the big names from Sim Lim Square and their shops here are each about five times the size of ours, uh his.

That brings me to the issue of my boss claiming that the shop has been making a loss ever since day one while I was still a partner without ever proving it with a proper profit and loss statement. The thought that comes to mind now is, if he was indeed telling the truth, we should be closing down soon.

But of course we all know that isn't true. Then again, that's all in the past now. He'd like to believe that I'm a dim-witted fool. I'd like like him to think the same. I have my reasons for staying.

Other than that, the biggest loss to me with the two shops closing down is that I won't be seeing the friends I've made on a day to day basis anymore.

My shop is a one goat operation, hence I treat the staff of the other shops as my own colleagues. In fact, I have been subconsciously referring to them as my colleagues.

I will miss them.

When Dicky told me that his shop was gonna move back to Sim Lim yesterday I almost shed a tear in front of him. It's really sad. Dicky is one of the bosses and one of the people from the other shops who'd often stop by mine, grab a chair and just sit down and chat.

I will miss chatting with him. He's such a positive guy. I mean he still managed to take it easy and put on a smile as he announced that his shop was closing down. What a remarkable guy, especially upon learning that they'd still be paying rent to the landlord till their contract is over, meaning for 18 more months... or OVER $200,000!!!

Dang, I'd eat a live porcupine- no, that's too painful. I'd eat a live penguin- um no, MLB will be mad at me. I'd EAT a LIVE candy floss for 10% of that. Just ten percent. I'll eat a ferocious, monstrous, humongous fluff of candy floss for that, I would. No, really. Throw me one. Better get $20,000 ready first.

Dicky has been through a lotta things in his life, much like mine actually and that's why we connect. The only difference is that he's living the life he wants now while I'm still lost in space, ah ha ha.

One thing about sitting outside your shop during the course of your working day is that people'd stop by you a lot - to ask for directions, to chat and get this, to ask for advice on the English language.

I feel like the resident yogi or something but it's nice to know when people deem you to be knowledgeable though I suspect it's got nothing to do with my credentials but more so because I can usually be found reading a book to pass the time.

To date, I have enlightened people, especially my fellow retailers on how to spell (I am very lucky no one's asked how to spell 'eexgarrete' and 'oelemtte' so far, whew), I have edited business letters, composed a letter of resignation for someone's mom and I have of late also been approached to come up with a letter of appeal to the Traffic Police with the specific request to use 'bombastic language' in order to appear more intelligent in the eyes of the authorities *rolleyes*.

I'm just happy to bask in the limelight.

There's an adage in my head, I just can't seem to remember the words to fill in the blanks. It goes like this: In the land of the __________, the __________ is king. Any ideas? Heh.

>>After leaving this for more than six hours>>

And the answer is: In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

The smart person who responded first (the only one actually) with the correct answer is *drumroll* my little bird herself!!! Yay!!!

I can hear "kelong... kelong, kelong, kelong... kelong, kelong!!!" to the tune of the "Ole ole" soccer chant everywhere. Oh shut up.

The winner of this contest wins a night out with THE Goat himself to watch Spiderman 3, ah ha ha. Sorry, private joke.

Ok, after a three week layoff I started running again last week.

My verdict for now is that I don't think it'd do me any good over the long term. I'm just quickening my way to a pair of crutches or a wheelchair.

On the flipside, who knows, such is the facts of life I might not even reach that age so I might as well live for now and NOW I don't feel like being fat and sluggish. Sucks the energy outta me.

Chances are, if you see me outside, you won't see it but I actually walk with a slight limp. Sometimes I even get spasms of sharp pain not unlike being stabbed by many Lilliputian screwdrivers when I'd go "ah ah ah" in the middle of anywhere.

So obviously running is a problem. But like I said, I'd keep doing it. Maybe I should take a two week break every two months or something.

I was gonna go to the polyclinic last Tuesday but it was closed due to Labour Day so next week it is then.

Four months have passed in the blink of an eye.

Four more should whizz pass fairly quickly.


Go with goat.