I'm back!
There were some bad things and then there were some good things about this latest reservist duty.
THE BAD
The first bad thing about it was that a few days prior to my reporting back, my shop was busy like heck due to its close proximity with the PC Show and by Sunday night my back was hurting so so bad. I was working like an octopus.
If you were to capture me on handycam and playback the clip in slo-mo, you could see me with eight hands or something. There was hardly time to sit. Maybe only for half a minute if I was lucky.
The accommodation was shit. The camp is split in two sub-camps. We were located at Camp 1 for the past two years but this year, we were suddenly shifted to Camp 2, which had smaller bunks and was dirtier and dustier in general due to the sandblasting work constantly being done at the dockyard nearby.
The toilet had this stupid energy-saving motion detector going on. We all understand the importance of saving money for the government so this energy-saving motion detector thing was a good initiative but the idiot who installed and set the timer really must use more of his brain or something.
I've never met anyone who could complete the entire shitting process in ten seconds. That's how long the idiot who installed the detector set the timer for before the lights switch off automatically.
The best thing was the detector can only detect whole bodies moving and also, it cannot penetrate doors. So if you're taking a piss in the middle of the night, the lights will go off in ten seconds because while you are peeing you need to aim at the urinal and are of course stationary and not exactly be prancing about spraying your urine at every direction. Simple common sense.
That's nothing. Imagine you taking a shower or having a shit in the middle of the night. I mean people don't just crap or spray water on themselves and then step out of the cubicles in ten seconds, right? *slaps forehead* "Idiots! We have idiots in this country..."
Overall, this year our duty was only for five days but we have been pre-warned that it would be TWO WEEKS each for the next three years and THAT is definitely a bad, bad, bad thing. The last time we did a two week duty, our morales were all so low.
THE GOOD
I'm actually very impressed with the food they served at the cookhouse. Chicken spaghetti bolognaise, teriyaki chicken, deep fried chicken, chicken chicken chicken. Woo!
Usually the caterers would cheat the taxpayers' money by serving good enough food only on the first and last days of our reservist duty, but this time it was good for all five days, so on a personal front, I appreciate this.
We'd also usually receive souvenirs on each reservist duty. This time our gift was this really cool Aussie Rules-ish sleeveless top in black with our unit name and logo emblazoned in front. I thought it was unique and very fierce-looking too.
I was also delighted to discover that the vending machines in camp had hot canned drinks on offer. It's very important for me because I usually wake up half an hour earlier than everyone else so that I could have my morning fix and then take a crap in peace.
Me not taking a crap at the start of the day is unfathomable as it is hazardous to everyone's well-being coz I'd just snap anyone's heads off at random.
It was also good to know that almost everyone has grown some gut around their waistlines, haha. Even the fittest ones. Once fit, now fat, haha. At least I don't feel so bad anymore.
GENERAL
On a personal front, as it has always been since my active days, I have no men. As a General Purpose Machine Gun (GPMG) Commander I should have a primary team of two men under my charge in missions but people who have been assigned to my team have always found ways to escape coz they're not willing to share the heavy load.
GPMG
In my active days, at the peak of my fitness and strength, I used to just carry the 40ish kilogram of load that comprises the GPMG with a belt of 150 7.62mm rounds already fed inside as seen in the above picture, the manpack with two feedboxes of 350 more rounds (and sometimes the tripod too which automatically adds 12kg more to my load), spare barrel, the GPMG pouch with all the tools, along with my helmet, Standard Battle Order (SBO) pouch as well as my commander pack with all the bells and whistles myself.
But these days, with my creaky back and wonky knees, I try not to be so heroic anymore. So I have just happily turned down all offers to do that one-man-GPMG-team thing for the past four years of reservist duty. I'd just appoint myself the deputy Platoon Sergeant which is my secondary duty anyway apart from being the Platoon HQ Section Commander.
I've not touched a GPMG for four years and that's actually a good thing. I wonder how long more I can escape, heh heh heh.
Me not taking up my GPMG vocation seems to be a problem with one of the other platoon's men. In our active days, their own GPMG Commander used to sometimes not join us for training missions and since I was men-less, I'd sometimes lead them and was very happy to do so.
I love their platoon's GPMG team. I sometimes wish I was their commander instead. We got along so well. One of them has since signed on with the navy but the other one is still around. Billy's* his name and he lives just a few blocks from me in the real world. I see him all the time.
This guy Billy would always stalk up to me and try to psycho me to get back and do that GPMG thing again. It's so funny. One time during this recent reservist duty, in all dramamama-ness he was like, "Loobz... . Everytime I see your face there's a heavy metal music playing in my head..." then he'd look over the horizon.
I was like, "Haha, why?"
"I still remember those days... five years ago, you stepping out of the bushes with all that load on you and I was like 'WOW', what an inspiration. That's when the heavy metal music in my head starts to play... everytime I recall that moment."
"Even with all those things you managed to push us on... . You really should think about coming back, man. Think about it. What are you carrying now, a SAR 21? People upgrade. People don't downgrade. People go from small to big. Not big to small. What are you doing with a tiny SAR 21 for? Think about it, man. Think about it."
SAR 21
Then he'd tap his temples a few times in dramatic fashion, put on a smug face, shake his head a few times and walk away.
It's actually quite funny the way he does it all the time, haha. On the other hand, I am happy to know that people still remember my exploits from the past. Billy's is not the only one. In fact, up to now, I still regard my time in NS serving in my unit as my greatest ever achievement.
But like I tell Billy, everytime he tries to psycho me back in, I can't do that shit anymore. I'd need loads and loads of painkillers. On the flipside, sometimes when I think about it, I'm not sure if I can't or I won't.
I guess I'll leave that for next year. I need to monitor my physical condition first. Remember my therapist telling me I could be on cruthches in five years? So yeah. I'd have to consider that. The mind may be willing, but the body may have other ideas.
Talking about mind and body and all that crap, I failed my IPPT test. I simply couldn't jump. It was so embarassing. That was the shortest I've ever jumped my whole life - 1.89m. A 10 year old kid could do that.
To rub salt into the wound, my unit's Commanding Officer was just standing there looking at how I'd do at the standing broad jump station. I swung my arms with all the gusto I could manage and blocked the negative thoughts out but still all I managed was that.
One point freaking eight nine freaking metres. I just covered my face and walked away after three unsuccessful attempts. Didn't know where else to hide my face.
I was proud of my own performance on the whole though. I know I said I was working on trying to escape performing anymore reservist training due to my injuries but then I had a change of heart. Even with a creaky back and wonky knees I took part in everything. I don't know what made me do it.
Maybe it's pride. Growing up a fat nerd, all my life I've been trying to prove something to people. I just can't get out of this mode yet.
Then I looked around and I see other citizen soldiers like me and then I realize that I'm not the only one with limitations. Some of the other guys are physically unfit or have their own sets of injuries. They could just choose to find ways to escape but they hadn't. So why should I do otherwise?
Then again it could be because of the comradeship. Me and most of the guys in my unit, my company, my platoon have been together for so long and been through a lot. Some pretty things, some ugly things. Once in a while, it's nice to be part of a team, to do my bit and see what results at the end of it.
I'll see how it goes. One of the first things I did yesterday when I got back was to go for a massage. My lower back hurts so bad I can't bend down to pick things up on the floor or wriggle around while sitting. It still hurts after the massage. I need to take it easy for the next couple of days.
Plan to lunch at my mom's in a few hours and take her out after with MLB and tomorrow, maybe just go for a picnic and laze around like cats somewhere.
* Name has been changed because there is actually a substantial population of ethnic Javanese people in Trinidad and Tobago from way back when they used to ship 'em over from Indonesia to work on the sugar plantations
