Was gonna go for a run but then I noticed it's raining outside. Didn't even know that it was. Silent this one. No wonder it was still dark at 730am just now.

Good. Gives me some time to ponder about some things.

All my life people have this impression of me - that if I had two strengths, that I'm diligent as well as disciplined. I too thought the same.

Thought.

It's true. I'm not as good as I thought I was or other people think I am for that matter.

But things are different now. I'm on the wrong side of my 20s and the ten year plan I set myself three years ago looks very bleak at the moment.

I keep getting myself involved in the wrong things especially when it comes to my career.

Had a little chat with my sister Bug yesterday. She said that she understands my desire to fulfil my ambition to be a proper businessman but I have to start from the bottom and not depend on other people like I am now.

Other people are out to eat me alive. I can't deny that it makes me a lousy businessman-to-be at the moment when I cannot detect myself being made a fool of until it's too late.

It's naive of me to even have that tiny hope that other people would treat me in the same way that I treat them - that is with respect as a fellow human being.

God planned it in this way coz maybe He thinks I didn't deserve to get my tangible rewards sooner than I want it to be because I might not be able to handle them.

He does want me to succeed in my ambition but He wants me to slowly does it while in the meantime putting me in situations where I learn to be more wise.

This is The School of Hard Knocks and what better educator could I ask for than God Himself?

Time is not running out but from now on I need to instil inside of me that I'm not thinking for one person anymore. If I thought I could risk it all before since I had nothing to lose, I have to stop this very second.

The future is clearer especially now that I have a wonderful partner and that only means I'm stronger since I am more complete.

Can't look back.