Goat guys go to Heaven

2007-06-12T09:05:00.000+08:00

In my opinion, the newly-installed benches at MRT stations here are stupid.

The idiot who okayed the move to install these dumb slippery and sloping benches must be some person who doesn't take trains in his daily life.

What are these things supposed to be, mini slides or something for people to sit on while waiting for the train to arrive?

Look at this shiny 30cm or so wide bench with a slippery surface which slopes at an angle from both sides of the centre. And there's no way of balancing one's centre of gravity over the damn thing by leaning back a little coz the bench is fixed so close to the wall. If you put someone with short legs or a kid on it, she'd slip right off and possibly fall on her head or something.

It's not only unsafe, it's also user unfriendly. In the end, people avoid these dumb things. So all the money we've invested in the SMRT in the form of fares have gone down the drain only because some dumbo decided decided to opt for stylo milo over simple and functional.

Since the damage has already been done, one solution is to stick on anti-slip mats on the surface of the benches to prevent people's butts from sliding off. If SMRT is not willing to do this for the sake of the public, then maybe the public should just bring their own anti slip mats and stick them on themselves.

So what do you think about these benches?

2007-06-08T17:05:00.000+08:00

I'm back!

There were some bad things and then there were some good things about this latest reservist duty.

THE BAD

The first bad thing about it was that a few days prior to my reporting back, my shop was busy like heck due to its close proximity with the PC Show and by Sunday night my back was hurting so so bad. I was working like an octopus.

If you were to capture me on handycam and playback the clip in slo-mo, you could see me with eight hands or something. There was hardly time to sit. Maybe only for half a minute if I was lucky.

The accommodation was shit. The camp is split in two sub-camps. We were located at Camp 1 for the past two years but this year, we were suddenly shifted to Camp 2, which had smaller bunks and was dirtier and dustier in general due to the sandblasting work constantly being done at the dockyard nearby.

The toilet had this stupid energy-saving motion detector going on. We all understand the importance of saving money for the government so this energy-saving motion detector thing was a good initiative but the idiot who installed and set the timer really must use more of his brain or something.

I've never met anyone who could complete the entire shitting process in ten seconds. That's how long the idiot who installed the detector set the timer for before the lights switch off automatically.

The best thing was the detector can only detect whole bodies moving and also, it cannot penetrate doors. So if you're taking a piss in the middle of the night, the lights will go off in ten seconds because while you are peeing you need to aim at the urinal and are of course stationary and not exactly be prancing about spraying your urine at every direction. Simple common sense.

That's nothing. Imagine you taking a shower or having a shit in the middle of the night. I mean people don't just crap or spray water on themselves and then step out of the cubicles in ten seconds, right? *slaps forehead* "Idiots! We have idiots in this country..."

Overall, this year our duty was only for five days but we have been pre-warned that it would be TWO WEEKS each for the next three years and THAT is definitely a bad, bad, bad thing. The last time we did a two week duty, our morales were all so low.

THE GOOD

I'm actually very impressed with the food they served at the cookhouse. Chicken spaghetti bolognaise, teriyaki chicken, deep fried chicken, chicken chicken chicken. Woo!

Usually the caterers would cheat the taxpayers' money by serving good enough food only on the first and last days of our reservist duty, but this time it was good for all five days, so on a personal front, I appreciate this.

We'd also usually receive souvenirs on each reservist duty. This time our gift was this really cool Aussie Rules-ish sleeveless top in black with our unit name and logo emblazoned in front. I thought it was unique and very fierce-looking too.

I was also delighted to discover that the vending machines in camp had hot canned drinks on offer. It's very important for me because I usually wake up half an hour earlier than everyone else so that I could have my morning fix and then take a crap in peace.

Me not taking a crap at the start of the day is unfathomable as it is hazardous to everyone's well-being coz I'd just snap anyone's heads off at random.

It was also good to know that almost everyone has grown some gut around their waistlines, haha. Even the fittest ones. Once fit, now fat, haha. At least I don't feel so bad anymore.

GENERAL

On a personal front, as it has always been since my active days, I have no men. As a General Purpose Machine Gun (GPMG) Commander I should have a primary team of two men under my charge in missions but people who have been assigned to my team have always found ways to escape coz they're not willing to share the heavy load.

GPMG

In my active days, at the peak of my fitness and strength, I used to just carry the 40ish kilogram of load that comprises the GPMG with a belt of 150 7.62mm rounds already fed inside as seen in the above picture, the manpack with two feedboxes of 350 more rounds (and sometimes the tripod too which automatically adds 12kg more to my load), spare barrel, the GPMG pouch with all the tools, along with my helmet, Standard Battle Order (SBO) pouch as well as my commander pack with all the bells and whistles myself.

But these days, with my creaky back and wonky knees, I try not to be so heroic anymore. So I have just happily turned down all offers to do that one-man-GPMG-team thing for the past four years of reservist duty. I'd just appoint myself the deputy Platoon Sergeant which is my secondary duty anyway apart from being the Platoon HQ Section Commander.

I've not touched a GPMG for four years and that's actually a good thing. I wonder how long more I can escape, heh heh heh.

Me not taking up my GPMG vocation seems to be a problem with one of the other platoon's men. In our active days, their own GPMG Commander used to sometimes not join us for training missions and since I was men-less, I'd sometimes lead them and was very happy to do so.

I love their platoon's GPMG team. I sometimes wish I was their commander instead. We got along so well. One of them has since signed on with the navy but the other one is still around. Billy's* his name and he lives just a few blocks from me in the real world. I see him all the time.

This guy Billy would always stalk up to me and try to psycho me to get back and do that GPMG thing again. It's so funny. One time during this recent reservist duty, in all dramamama-ness he was like, "Loobz... . Everytime I see your face there's a heavy metal music playing in my head..." then he'd look over the horizon.

I was like, "Haha, why?"

"I still remember those days... five years ago, you stepping out of the bushes with all that load on you and I was like 'WOW', what an inspiration. That's when the heavy metal music in my head starts to play... everytime I recall that moment."

"Even with all those things you managed to push us on... . You really should think about coming back, man. Think about it. What are you carrying now, a SAR 21? People upgrade. People don't downgrade. People go from small to big. Not big to small. What are you doing with a tiny SAR 21 for? Think about it, man. Think about it."

SAR 21

Then he'd tap his temples a few times in dramatic fashion, put on a smug face, shake his head a few times and walk away.

It's actually quite funny the way he does it all the time, haha. On the other hand, I am happy to know that people still remember my exploits from the past. Billy's is not the only one. In fact, up to now, I still regard my time in NS serving in my unit as my greatest ever achievement.

But like I tell Billy, everytime he tries to psycho me back in, I can't do that shit anymore. I'd need loads and loads of painkillers. On the flipside, sometimes when I think about it, I'm not sure if I can't or I won't.

I guess I'll leave that for next year. I need to monitor my physical condition first. Remember my therapist telling me I could be on cruthches in five years? So yeah. I'd have to consider that. The mind may be willing, but the body may have other ideas.

Talking about mind and body and all that crap, I failed my IPPT test. I simply couldn't jump. It was so embarassing. That was the shortest I've ever jumped my whole life - 1.89m. A 10 year old kid could do that.

To rub salt into the wound, my unit's Commanding Officer was just standing there looking at how I'd do at the standing broad jump station. I swung my arms with all the gusto I could manage and blocked the negative thoughts out but still all I managed was that.

One point freaking eight nine freaking metres. I just covered my face and walked away after three unsuccessful attempts. Didn't know where else to hide my face.

I was proud of my own performance on the whole though. I know I said I was working on trying to escape performing anymore reservist training due to my injuries but then I had a change of heart. Even with a creaky back and wonky knees I took part in everything. I don't know what made me do it.

Maybe it's pride. Growing up a fat nerd, all my life I've been trying to prove something to people. I just can't get out of this mode yet.

Then I looked around and I see other citizen soldiers like me and then I realize that I'm not the only one with limitations. Some of the other guys are physically unfit or have their own sets of injuries. They could just choose to find ways to escape but they hadn't. So why should I do otherwise?

Then again it could be because of the comradeship. Me and most of the guys in my unit, my company, my platoon have been together for so long and been through a lot. Some pretty things, some ugly things. Once in a while, it's nice to be part of a team, to do my bit and see what results at the end of it.

I'll see how it goes. One of the first things I did yesterday when I got back was to go for a massage. My lower back hurts so bad I can't bend down to pick things up on the floor or wriggle around while sitting. It still hurts after the massage. I need to take it easy for the next couple of days.

Plan to lunch at my mom's in a few hours and take her out after with MLB and tomorrow, maybe just go for a picnic and laze around like cats somewhere.

* Name has been changed because there is actually a substantial population of ethnic Javanese people in Trinidad and Tobago from way back when they used to ship 'em over from Indonesia to work on the sugar plantations

2007-06-03T22:21:00.000+08:00

Please excuse me while I play cowboys and Indians from the 4th to the 8th of June.

2007-06-02T09:30:00.000+08:00

To the cute little bird:

Watch out. I bite.

2007-05-29T21:38:00.000+08:00

I was probably overreacting in my last post at the end but ya know, I was riling coz my poor baby bird got treated bad by some hawkers at some Halal coffeeshop in Bugis the night before for no particular reason.

There she was all exhausted after her gym session, I know coz I was on the phone with her prior. The last time she had something to eat was probably at lunch ten hours back. She always goes to the gym on an empty stomach *wags finger at MLB*.

MLB is not one to be rude to people. She doesn't have a rude bone in her body, not even one. None at all. Sometimes she thinks she's being all Incredible Hulky but it's actually quite funny when she does that coz she reminds me of Tinkerbell in Peter Pan. There she is so petite and adorable trying to be angry and all with her tiny voice. Ha ha ha, baby baby... .

Ahem, so anyway.

My point is, the bozos at the prawn noodle stall at the coffeeshop had no reason to be rude to her. Now, swearing at MLB is a big no-no as far as I'm concerned, particularly when she has done nothing wrong to begin with.

She merely corrected the person preparing her order for preparing her something else she didn't order. I mean, what's wrong with that? She WAS paying for her food wasn't she? She wasn't begging was she?

MLB said to me later on that they'd probably had a bad day. I mean, they don't know what 'bad day' means because I run this 'bad day on demand service' and I really can offer them a bad day if they want it so bad. Only then they'd know what 'bad day' means. Till then they just don't.

But she asked me to relax. That seemed reasonable to me. Afterall there's only three more months to go and I really shouldn't be doing anything stupid. So I did. I counted 1, 2, 3... all the way to 156748, took a deep breath and was rewarded with a clear head when I was done.

Retail therapy also helped. I got myself two new soccer jerseys, a new watch and a um, and uh, and another bag ok. So shut up. What's another bag compared to the health and well-being of a couple of prawn noodle sellers anyway? Harrrumph.

So with a head full of... nothing, being clear-headed and all, to set things right, I took my baby bird o' baby bird o' mine to dinner after she was done at the office. I was tired and all and could really do with the extra few hours of rest but I just needed to see her eat. In front of me. Where I can witness food entering her mouth with my own two eyes.

Obviously it's just an excuse. I don't need a reason to wanna hang out with my favourite person. Any excuse will do. Besides, I'd be stuck in camp for a few days reluctantly performing my national reservist duty next week and I'm pretty damn sure I'll be missing her like crazy.

So yeah, I agree with her when she says reservist should be banned. Or at least shortened to five years or something. There are more important things to do in the real world for non-career uniformed personnel like me than pretending to be cowboys and Indians once a year. The white horses have it easy. What do they know about these things from on top their high horses?

2007-05-29T08:34:00.000+08:00

I barely lasted five minutes just now before I had to stop my morning run and turn back home. Sharp pain going on at the joint between my left thigh and pelvis. Aaargh.

I like keeping myself fit. I look good, I feel good, I can take on anything, I can take on anyone, I feel that I can take on the world! But, I'll give it a rest for a couple of days.

In other news, it's a good day for soccer-loving goats of the world. Derby County has won promotion to the Premier League!

Altogether now: Beh eh eh eh EK! Woo!

Also, just a gentle reminder to all who intends to bully my baby bird. Don't. Because all she needs is to call and the cavalry will gallop down and be all over you like a house on fire. Don't mess with the Goat Squad, thank you.

2007-05-23T07:00:00.000+08:00

MLB was at my mom's place for the first time last night for dinner. It's the third time they've met.

As usual, my mom whipped up a storm but nothing beats my baby bird. I wanna eat her. She's this small little thing I could roll up into a ball and pop into my mouth.

Major sidetracking there.

There was a lotta giggling and laughing going on as I got surrounded by three women (my sister Bug was there too) who were going on like teenage schoolgirls. It was good.

As an aside, my baby bird has been running around all over the place the last couple of days she must be all pooped out. But she's a strong woman and I know she can handle it.

She does so much for other people and I hope other people would spare a thought for her too, starting with me.

As I moved away after leaving her at the door last night, I stopped for a while to look back at her fumbling with her keys and I don't say it as much as should but I love this woman and I wanna keep her.

2007-05-22T06:45:00.000+08:00

I was gonna talk about the obsession with Caucasian-sounding and/or Caucasian-looking personnel by local and Asian TV and movie houses today but I'll leave it for another day.

I wanna talk about this, the fact that I hate to talk on the phone. I hate the idea of people contacting me when I'm in the middle of something. That's why I no longer have MSN messenger on my computer.

I use my phone primarily for its radio function. Class 95 is my friend. However, I still choose to own a phone instead of just a portable radio so I could be reached in an emergency.

I hate people calling my phone to whine, whinge or whatever. It's a waste of time. When you call my phone, it'd better be an emergency. When you call my phone, you'd better be prepared to keep it snappy. At all times.

Other than life and death matters, just send me a text or email so I could check them when I have the time or speak to me when I see you next. At work, there are times when I have to serve customers and I really hate it when people'd call me just to talk about the weather.

Give me half an hour after your text or overnight after your email. If I find your text or email worthy of a response, I will respond. If not, you know why.

And calling me after work for non life and death matters is a big no-no no matter who you are. As outlined in my last post, I reach home, I shower, I pray, I wait for the food to thaw, I cook, I eat then I sleep. Simple as that. Other matters can be taken up with me at a better time.

Should my phone ring after work and should I take a risk to pick your call up and should I find out that it's not an emergency, I will be very pissed off.

Some people work five days a week. Some people work five and a half days a week. Some, six days a week. I work SEVEN days a week. Allow me to have some me time please. It's not too much to ask.

If you can't accept this simple thing, you probably can never. And I'm not willing to live with that.

2007-05-17T22:34:00.000+08:00

Many people are probably wondering what else I do besides hanging out with my little bird and having double portions of whatever everyone's having on the dinner table, but to be honest, there really is nothing much going on to crow about.

Well ok there are two other things I'm working on but they're both hush hush and I wanna keep it that way.

The things I do everyday are pretty typical. I wake up at 6.30, I pray, I drink coffee while surfing the Net till 8.00, I take a crap then I go running till 9.00, I rest for an hour, I get ready for work, I masquerade as this knowledgeable IT guy at work, I go for a break at 2something, I get back an hour later, continue my charade, I close shop at 9.00, I give MLB a call, we talk for 15 minutes while I walk to the train station, we put down the phone when the train comes, I reach home, I shower, then I pray, then I'm on the computer again while waiting for the food to thaw, I cook, then I eat and then I sleep.

Fin.

2007-05-14T22:43:00.000+08:00

We had dinner at Satay Club City Plaza last Saturday - my mom, my baby bird and me. It was to celebrate Mothers' Day. My mom liked the el cheapo air purifier we got her. Ok ok it was my idea but MLB chose the essential oil. Good choice eucalyptus. Helps with the breathing it said on the bottle.

The food there was SUPERB with a capital W. We each had a humongous plate of fried rice, different styles all with two sides of fried kai lan and prawn omeetlete but the star dish of the night was DEFINITELY, HAD TO BE, CONFIRM CHOP PLUS GUARANTEE the satay.

Yeeesss the satay was superb to the max. Juicy *slurp*, succulent *slurp* and lip-smacking GOOOOD. I, Goat Almighty ordered a bunch of 30 sticks of satay in mutton, beef and chicken flavours and ended up devouring 20 of those. The poor women had no chance, no chance at all.

The service was dang poor though but we could live with that. We went there coz we heard the food was good and we weren't disappointed, so that's that.

Then we spent like 20 million hours accompanying my mom at First Lady shopping for clothes for my fat sister in Perth, her kids and friends. We only spent five minutes looking for the other people's clothes.

The rest of the 20 million hours was spent finding something in my sister's size. We finally found something at the backroom, somewhere at the bottom of some pile.

The sales assistant said the last time they got something from that far back and far down in the backroom was when some sumo wrestler came by. That was years back when US Masters were the coolest school shoes in the universe.

So we're glad that one's over.

My mom was happy we brought her out. She was especially happy to spend time with MLB. I mean who cares about me right? I'm only like her son or something. Big hairy deal.

Oh ya, MLB and I had brunch at Burger King and I have to say that their breakfast menu is top of the world. A class of their own. I was just shaking my head going "Mm mm mm" coz it was THAT satisfying.

I can't remember what I had but I had two sandwiches while MLB had some kinda um, I can't remember what she had either, but they were juicy, moist and fluffy. In fact they remind me of cats. Go take your kids to BK one of these days. They'd be thrilled.

2007-05-11T06:33:00.000+08:00

Last week, one of the shops at my retail mall closed down.

This week, one more bit the dust.

Reason: lousy sales turnover, high high high rent.

My boss tried to sound shocked upon hearing the news but everyone could see through his fake awe. I'm sure that secretly he's very pleased about it. Afterall, these two are one of the big names from Sim Lim Square and their shops here are each about five times the size of ours, uh his.

That brings me to the issue of my boss claiming that the shop has been making a loss ever since day one while I was still a partner without ever proving it with a proper profit and loss statement. The thought that comes to mind now is, if he was indeed telling the truth, we should be closing down soon.

But of course we all know that isn't true. Then again, that's all in the past now. He'd like to believe that I'm a dim-witted fool. I'd like like him to think the same. I have my reasons for staying.

Other than that, the biggest loss to me with the two shops closing down is that I won't be seeing the friends I've made on a day to day basis anymore.

My shop is a one goat operation, hence I treat the staff of the other shops as my own colleagues. In fact, I have been subconsciously referring to them as my colleagues.

I will miss them.

When Dicky told me that his shop was gonna move back to Sim Lim yesterday I almost shed a tear in front of him. It's really sad. Dicky is one of the bosses and one of the people from the other shops who'd often stop by mine, grab a chair and just sit down and chat.

I will miss chatting with him. He's such a positive guy. I mean he still managed to take it easy and put on a smile as he announced that his shop was closing down. What a remarkable guy, especially upon learning that they'd still be paying rent to the landlord till their contract is over, meaning for 18 more months... or OVER $200,000!!!

Dang, I'd eat a live porcupine- no, that's too painful. I'd eat a live penguin- um no, MLB will be mad at me. I'd EAT a LIVE candy floss for 10% of that. Just ten percent. I'll eat a ferocious, monstrous, humongous fluff of candy floss for that, I would. No, really. Throw me one. Better get $20,000 ready first.

Dicky has been through a lotta things in his life, much like mine actually and that's why we connect. The only difference is that he's living the life he wants now while I'm still lost in space, ah ha ha.

2007-05-05T06:36:00.000+08:00

One thing about sitting outside your shop during the course of your working day is that people'd stop by you a lot - to ask for directions, to chat and get this, to ask for advice on the English language.

I feel like the resident yogi or something but it's nice to know when people deem you to be knowledgeable though I suspect it's got nothing to do with my credentials but more so because I can usually be found reading a book to pass the time.

To date, I have enlightened people, especially my fellow retailers on how to spell (I am very lucky no one's asked how to spell 'eexgarrete' and 'oelemtte' so far, whew), I have edited business letters, composed a letter of resignation for someone's mom and I have of late also been approached to come up with a letter of appeal to the Traffic Police with the specific request to use 'bombastic language' in order to appear more intelligent in the eyes of the authorities *rolleyes*.

I'm just happy to bask in the limelight.

There's an adage in my head, I just can't seem to remember the words to fill in the blanks. It goes like this: In the land of the __________, the __________ is king. Any ideas? Heh.

>>After leaving this for more than six hours>>

And the answer is: In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

The smart person who responded first (the only one actually) with the correct answer is *drumroll* my little bird herself!!! Yay!!!

I can hear "kelong... kelong, kelong, kelong... kelong, kelong!!!" to the tune of the "Ole ole" soccer chant everywhere. Oh shut up.

The winner of this contest wins a night out with THE Goat himself to watch Spiderman 3, ah ha ha. Sorry, private joke.

2007-05-04T06:48:00.000+08:00

Ok, after a three week layoff I started running again last week.

My verdict for now is that I don't think it'd do me any good over the long term. I'm just quickening my way to a pair of crutches or a wheelchair.

On the flipside, who knows, such is the facts of life I might not even reach that age so I might as well live for now and NOW I don't feel like being fat and sluggish. Sucks the energy outta me.

Chances are, if you see me outside, you won't see it but I actually walk with a slight limp. Sometimes I even get spasms of sharp pain not unlike being stabbed by many Lilliputian screwdrivers when I'd go "ah ah ah" in the middle of anywhere.

So obviously running is a problem. But like I said, I'd keep doing it. Maybe I should take a two week break every two months or something.

I was gonna go to the polyclinic last Tuesday but it was closed due to Labour Day so next week it is then.

2007-05-01T08:34:00.000+08:00

Four months have passed in the blink of an eye.

Four more should whizz pass fairly quickly.

Go with goat.

2007-04-29T08:00:00.000+08:00

I was just leaving my house to go for a run yesterday morning when some old lady a few doors away was also leaving her house.

I reached the lift lobby first so I started stretching. Moments later, she also reached the lobby.

When the lift arrived, she was like, "Son, the lift is here." I smiled and said thank you.

Then she asked if I've been here long. Not really, I said. Maybe two years or so. She said she's been here a looong time, well actually it's her adopted son's place. She lives in Khatib actually.

"Khatib?" I enquired. I used to live there said I. Then she asked which block? I replied, "840."

"No kidding!" She said she IS living there now. I said, "Really? Wow I was on the second floor."

And she's like, "I live on the second floor!" I thought, "Whaaat...?"

What a small world. Apparently we were even next door neighbours like 14 years ago or something. So weird.

We talked for a bit more downstairs before I split for my run and she went over to another block to drop by a friend's.

That was the longest I ever spoke to anyone in this neighbourhood. It's good.

2007-04-26T09:44:00.000+08:00

Was gonna go for a run earlier but it rained.

Then it stopped and I was getting out, then it rained again. %^$^&!!!

I need that step machine to put at home.

I was just gonna go for a light run, slowly does it, maybe over a few days before I decide whether it's doing me more harm than good or whatever.

Can't stand all this inaction. I can REALLY feel the fat cells mutating inside of me.

2007-04-24T21:39:00.000+08:00

Went over to MLB's after work today to check up on how she's doing coz she wasn't feeling well and called in sick in the morning as well as to return her mom's laptop which I have finally finished souping up.

And then it was time for me to shower some attention on my own mom. She's just come back from a holiday in Perth. Besides, I am not really in the running for the 'son of the year award'. Should at least try, eh?

I've already visited her last week but this week's visit just now was a little different. Usually it's only about my mom piling food after food after food on my plate and the tabletop in front of me..... *pause for thought*.

Uh.

Actually today was also the same. Ah ha ha. Just that I also made the effort to lug over my sister Banana's 20 inch TV to my mom's. Hers died all of a sudden last weekend and since Banana's was just lying around in our house, she offered it to mom.

Mom was of course a happy camper. She couldn't go through another day without her Indonesian TV. Hence I declare the act of lugging a 20 inch TV on my wobbly knees my Mothers' Day gift to her!

Ha ha, cheapskate!!!

Anyway I was also a happy camper. It's not the best of analogies but my mom is like my private food genie. Haven't eaten her cooking for a while so the moment I saw her last week I wished for a dish called 'daging masak kicap' or mutton in soy sauce (Yikes! I'm a cannibal!) and *voila*, today I got it.

Them. Not 'it'.

Besides the soy sauced mutton, there was also fried chicken, cockles in some kinda soupy thing, beef rendang and some liquidy chilli sauce thing. All in unlimited supply.

I had four scoops of rice and one or two helpings of each of the dishes listed on top with five spoonfuls of chilli sauce, but THAT was only the first round.

Had another round immediately after, the same, no half time break whatsoever, but even THAT was just the second round.

This time I had a short break followed by a third round of five large scoops of Rocky Road Reloaded ice cream AND a fourth round of five more large scoops of Peppermint ice cream. Both in a big bowl. Obviously.

In other news, I bought another pouch. Ok bye.

2007-04-24T07:10:00.000+08:00

Yes yes, as MLB had put it, the meeting-with-her-parents-on-the-pretext-of-fixing-their-computer went better than expected. I was like, "doom doom doom" in my head prior to that.

However, in my usual bumbling manner, I almost managed to snuff it. The Internet connection refused to cooperate.

What was to be my moment to shine presenting my work in the form of ye olde laptop with its new bells and whistles in ALL its glory turned out to be a horror show for a while.

I had to deal with an unfamiliar adversary that is Singnet broadband and it took quite a lot from me to maintain a cool front when I was actually going all over the place on the inside.

It's like having the ball at my feet with only the goalkeeper to beat but nooo he had to block the shot.

But no fret.

The ball managed to bounce off the goalie's nose as he quinced in pain, hit my butt as I lost balance on my wobbly knees and landed on my face, bounced back just centimetres over the guy who tried to flail his arms like a drunken starfish and trickled past the goal line.

It was a lousy goal but a goal nonetheless. At least I hope so.

2007-04-21T08:22:00.000+08:00

Been staying up really late the last few nights. Well, besides being in the middle of some project, I also have MLB's father's laptop to work on which is the top priority since it's due to be returned back to him later today.

In my mind I was under a lotta pressure coz obviously a lotta faith have been put in me by some key people and I don't intend to disappoint. Otherwise there'd be one BIG pot of mutton rendang this afternoon and the *gulp* prospect doesn't excite me at all.

It wasn't easy working on it. It's a Pentium 2 machine to begin with and it's only got like 6GB of hard drive capacity, 192MB of memory space as well as a turtle of a processor with 0.3somethingGHz speed. To add to that, the keyboard was a Japan-version and not the standard US one. It was, there's no better way to say it, a 'cekik darah macam nak mampos' machine.

Choke on blood as though about to die. It's like trying to get to China in 36 hours on a skate scooter. Thank goat it is running on the Windows XP OS though. That saved me some time coz I'm not so proficient on any other OS.

Here's what I have done with the laptop.

System checklist:

1. Set up hisname@email.com personal email address.

2. Set up hisbusiness@email.com business email address.

3. Installed Mozilla Thunderbird email client and set both his emails up so he could check his inbox with just one click.

4. Set up his business website. Well he didn't ask but I thought it's a great idea to set it up as his homepage for the WOW factor (and more brownie points for me, why not).

5. Installed Mozilla Firefox. I figured that any form of online protection would help. If Firefox could eliminate some of that threat away, why stick with Internet Explorer?

6. Set up hisbusinesswebsite.com as Firefox's homepage.

7. Installed antivirus program.

8. Installed MS Office so that he could do some work from his laptop should he want to.

9. Installed MSN messenger so he could keep tabs on MLB (hahaha!) who's the first and only person to be added in there thus far. Thank goat I don't have one myself, whew.

10. Freed up the laptop's disk space to get rid of the useless gunk.

11. Currently defragmentizing the hard drive to make the laptop run faster (for crying out loud).

12. Currently running the antivirus program coz I was surfing some porn sites on it last night and now desperately trying to get rid of all the evidence, hohoho.

Accessories checklist:

1. Got an AM/BM cable (the package MLB passed me didn't include this item) so he could run his external floppy drive whenever he wants to save his work.

2. Got a box of 10 floppy disks otherwise where else is he gonna save his work?

3. Got a wireless PCMCIA adapter and set the laptop up to be able to connect to the Net. But this also means he cannot simultaneously utilize his external CD-ROM drive while he's on the Net coz the dang thing connects via the single PCMCIA slot. It's one or the other at one time.

4. Got him a 4-port USB hub because the machine's only got one pathetic USB port. These days, everything runs on USB so this thing I feel is important.

5. Got him an optical mouse coz using the touchpad is annoying business.

6. Got them a microfilter so that they can use the home telephone and Internet at the same time without getting disconnected. They're on Singnet broadband.

At this stage it's not crucial yet, but at some point in the future I intend to get him a:

7. USB notebook coolpad coz this machine is old and could die anytime so anything that helps to extend its life like keeping the hard drive cool would help.

8. USB thumbdrive coz frankly, who uses floppy disks anymore?

9. External USB CD-ROM drive so he could do away with the PCMCIA one and not trouble himself to switch between the two all the time (damn I'm such a considerate goat).

10. Earphone or headphone with mic so her parents can make overseas calls on Skype cheaply.

Anyway, I didn't accomplish these things alone. Although much of the stuff was left to me, MLB contributed too in ways that she could. And then there was the help I got from my friends at work who let me use their workstation, electricity, offer advice and gave outrageous discounts on the stuff that I purchased with regards to this mission.

No one wanted to see me screw up with my ahem, future father-in-law's laptop.

I must also highlight the fact that I'm no IT expert. Except for the Windows 98 course I took way back, I have no paper qualifications whatsoever in this line.

Much of the stuff I learned along the way was by doing and I have:

- my sister Banana to thank for convincing me back in the late 90s that the Internet rocks (you see how it snowballs here, sis? Wouldn't have met MLB for one).

- not to mention my numero uno brother in law Wanker for giving me a headstart on the serious aspects of IT.

- Sam my boss for putting me in a situation where I have no choice but to learn stuff about IT (although I detest the other situations he put me in).

- as well as my colleague (albeit in another outlet) Jack of whom I learned from by watching him work.

Last checked, beef rendang is the most popular variation of rendang around. I hope MLB'S father doesn't have any other ideas this afternoon, ah ha ha *gulp*.

2007-04-19T08:38:00.000+08:00

GuesswhoIsawguesswhoIsawguesswhoIsaw!?

CHICAGO!!!

The lazy fat butt was just lying around on the pavement under my block totally oblivious to the fact that people are getting worried about him and all, the stupid cat.

Gave him a good knuckling last night ;) Squeezed his bum too. And pulled his ears. And tail. Patpatpatpatpat him on the head a few million times.

Heh. In other news, I have here, with me, on my desk, next to my laptop, somebody else's laptop.

Not just any somebody, but a very important somebody.

That very important somebody is the father of my baby bird. And his newly-obtained used laptop is in my temporary possession because I, Goat Almighty, have been given the usually simple task to check it out.

To check what out exactly? Frankly I have no clue. This is like one of those 'Just do it no questions' thing and non-compliance and failure to succeed could result in a lifetime of *gasp* I don't even wanna go there.

But on the flipside, this is also a damn good opportunity to score points with da man. All I gotta do is to come up with a list of things to recommend him to do and undo with regards to the laptop in order to make it Internet-ready and suitable for work.

The trick is... *looks right, looks left* if you can't convince 'em, then confuse 'em. Shhh. Tee hee hee.

2007-04-14T06:58:00.000+08:00

I haven't seen Chicago for around 10 days now.

No, not Chicago the band but Chicago the friendly black cat with white forepaws which make him look as though he's wearing socks from downstairs my block.

(Geddit? Chicago White Sox? The baseball team? Whatever.)

I miss him. He's always goes crazy whenever he sees me. He'd jump out of wherever he happens to be and run to me like he's not seen me for 836859 years or something and then twirl, hop, skip and lightly head butt me to encourage me to stroke or pat him.

He's like a dog actually. Very responsive cat. Not the lazy sleep for 23 hours a day type. If I could have any cat, I'd like to have him. But I know he wouldn't like being cooped up in the pigeon hole I live in. Hell I can't stand being in my own pigeon hole myself!

His speciality is to annoy other cats. I don't know what he'd done, but I've seen him being chased around by other cats (one or a few) all over the country more than a few times. He must have done something to irritate them. He reminds me of me, ah ha ha.

Anyway, this is the reason why I'm feeling afraid to the point of being paranoid. Could he have finally been caught by the other cat or cats and beaten to death? Is he lying injured somewhere? Has he been eaten by a dog?

Or kidnapped?

Chicago hates lifts. A few times he's followed me into the lift while I was on the way up to go home but as soon as the door was closing, he'd swiftly slip out. Then he'd turn around, and look at me with his sad eyes through the windows. He still wants to play with me.

I feel sad too whenever that happens because as much as I wanna to stick around and play with my favourite cat, I have things to do at home.

Now I miss him sooo much. If I see him again, I'd stick around longer. I promise myself that. I promise God that. I just wanna see him again to know that he's still safe and sound and that he'd really just been chilling out someplace for a while.

2007-04-11T06:59:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the second time I went to the muscle therapist regarding my knee problem... and I've decided not to go again as far as I can see, which isn't actually that far.

Reason is the therapist himself has conceded that not much can be done to help me recover and I've resigned myself to that knowledge. At most, all he could do is to improve the situation, but at $50 a pop once a week, it's not an amount I'd want to consider.

Might as well go for an operation and get it done and over with but nah, not even that. It's gonna cost and the chance of anything positive coming out of it is only 50-50.

Last week, he'd adviced me to completely stay away from any high impact activity till the treatment is over but yesterday, he said it'd be in my best interest to stay away for all time. Five years down the road, he could see me having more problems even with just walking.

Crap. I was actually aiming for a Spartan six pack by end of the year.

If I was afraid of getting fat, he added that I should just stick to a step machine or the like. Maybe I should get myself an Osim uZap or an OTO Trimax or even an iGallop!

Yeeeeee-Haw!!! Ha ha!

So anyway, on top of all that he also mentioned that the liquid that lubricates my knee joints are diminishing. My left knee cap is wobbly and there's a creaky sound going on. To be honest, it's not news to me. I've always known.

Guess I should mentally prepare myself to move around in a wheelchair in time to come, eh?

I might wanna consider forming a wheelchair rugby team in Singapore. As it is now, Japan is the only Asian representative on the world stage. That way, I could still get involved in contact sports and satisfy this insatiable appetite for competition.

Kill! Kill! Kill!!!

... Or I could just get involved in sports in some other way (nudge nudge wink wink, sorry insider joke).

Anyway my point is, I'm not looking forward to recover from this knee problem. Can't afford it. Instead, I will focus my efforts now to get an official excuse to not have to perform my reservist duties anymore.

It's a real problem. I'm in an elite unit and I don't think I can keep up with the rigours associated with our activities in this condition. Besides, I've already invested many years of my life to the cause at the top level and that's better than what some people have done.

PS: Watched Phantom of The Opera with my baby bird last night. Our first times watching a proper musical. Wonderful experience. Thanks, love.

PS2: Manchester United trashed Roma's butt 7-1 in the Champions' League 2nd Leg to win on aggregate and stroll leisurely to the semifinals! Woo!

2007-04-09T08:08:00.000+08:00

2007-04-06T08:19:00.000+08:00

In yet another moment of weakness yesterday, I got myself another... bag.

Yeah I know... "Another one!?"

B-b-but-but it's fully justified you know, really! Really, really.

Ok, before this I had:

Two pouches, one big and one small.

Two laptop bags, one big and one small.

Two haversacks, one big and one small.

And just one big sports duffel bag. No small one anywhere.

See, that's only ONE reason why it was a justified purchase.

The second reason is that it was on sale at only $20. Hardly burns a whole in anyone's pocket.

A-a-and, it was THE LAST PIECE. It was the only piece left in red. God was telling me something. I had a higher calling telling me then that it was 'now or never' so, so, so I had no choice in the matter, no choice at all but to get it.

Right? *quivering lips*

Right?

Heh heh.

Eh heh heh heh.

2007-04-05T08:20:00.000+08:00

It's really tempting. I really wanna go for a run. Feel like The Blob. Can feel the fat cells mutating inside of me. Ack. I'm sooo gonna be fat again by the month end at the rate I'm eating. Ask MLB. She knows. Can't... can't go for a... run... till... treatment is... over... . Gasp.

2007-04-03T18:06:00.000+08:00

For the second time in about two months I've called the police again. The first time as you know, was to report my stupid neighbour Mr Skunk who in all his drunken glory called me out for a fight at 3am in the morning.

And today, it was to report the traffic situation.

I usually take the overground route to work from City Hall MRT station. When I was trying to cross the traffic light at the Swissotel-Raffles Hotel junction, I realized that all the traffic lights in all the four points of the junction were dead!

It was chaos. All the cars were trying to kill me from all directions - left, right, centre, above, below, they're everywhere! I was like a goat in headlights. I knew then how a roadkill must feel seconds before they die as I hopped, skipped and somersaulted my way to safety.

I was sweating buckets by the time I got to work.

So anyway, I just got back from my appointment with the muscular therapist. I'm not sure if it was worth 50 bucks but it's too soon to say.

The guy told me to lay off any physical activity, ALL physical activity and to come for treatment for at least two more sessions after today to give my muscular fibres time to fully recover so as to judge better if the treatment is actually working or not.

Damn it, I'm not even supposed to go for my runs anymore till then. I was also told to apply deep heating rub on the affected areas every night to really enhance my recovery rate.

It's worse than I initially thought. Basically my whole left leg is funked, except for the front of my thigh and my shin, as you can see from the areas spraypainted purple below.

What happened was that my knee got operated 24 years ago, on the inner knee area down to the upper shin, as a result of being knocked down by a taxi and the muscle fibres in these areas have deteriorated since then.

Over these years, other muscle fibres from other areas of my left leg have been compensating for the weakness of the muscles initially affected and now, 24 years on, they have also almost gone kaput.

Keyword there is 'almost'. There's still time for everything to get better though not to its full potential. I've just about seeked treatment in time and I have my little bird to thank for this. She knows best what she has done for me, that's why she's my number 1 and only one, no contest.

I hope I can get back to at least running again (being able to play contact sports again would be a bonus) coz just when I've just about regained my shape and fitness levels, I now have to abruptly stop everything until the month end.

That's a lot of work I see going down the drain. Should I recover, I'd have to pick everything up again from scratch and I don't like the sound of that though it's by no choice of mine.

Guess we'll see how it goes then. Meantime I'll just follow what the doc says.

2007-04-02T06:41:00.000+08:00

We were walking towards the coffeeshop near my place to have breakfast when MLB pointed something out to me.

I've been living here for 832936 years and I've never bothered to look at the billboards the shops put up to promote their stuff, but I'm glad that she did.

It was for this muscle care and treatment thingy by a company that operates from one of the clinics called Muscle Therapy Works.

Says there on the billboard that they care and treat for stiff necks, chronic backache, sports injuries and the one that caught our eyes: hip/knee/ankle pain too.

Cool beans.

I grabbed a flyer (the irony is that one contributing factor of the deterioration of my knee is from dodging flyer distributors who happen to be all over the place, they're everywhere!) and called them up to fix an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.

At $50 an hour per session, it better freaking work or I'm gonna pluck their eyeballs out and stuff them up their nostrils!

2007-04-01T08:11:00.000+08:00

Unbelievable.

MLB and I went to watch two movies this week and they both sucked.

TMNT's plot was patchy and the turtles look like crap in CGI. Unrealistic. Disappointing. Total letdown.

Pathfinder was another unrealistic movie. The hero doesn't have a well-toned body as expected from heroes to make up for his lack of good looks normally associated with heroes and the Norseman vikings were made out to be inhuman with fangs and grunting sounds and everything when they are just in fact humans (I mean, Scandinavians these days, do you see them with fangs and do they even make grunting sounds?).

In general, it's yet another American sentionalisation of a mundane subject. They just couldn't let the legend of the Pathfinder who repelled the Norseman invasion 600 years before Columbus 'found' America to be boring and straightforward. They just had to add things to spice it up like 'gunfights' with arrows, car chases with the hero on a shield sliding down a snowhill with bad guys on his tail on sleds, blah blah blah.

I just hope Transformers and Spiderman 3 are more worth it.

2007-03-29T08:45:00.000+08:00

Just came back from my morning run and I have finally decided that I would see a doctor regarding my left knee injury before the start of May.

Hence I, Goat Almighty of NRIC no S79xxxxxD formally declare that I would stay away from all physical activity that would involve quick movements of my lower limbs on any level, and solely include and limited to specifically my lower limbs below my pelvic area and nowhere else in and on my person, other than my regular morning fitness regime till the knee in question is certified as fully recovered by a person qualified in the medical profession.

All yours,
Goat Almighty

2007-03-26T07:13:00.000+08:00

Had a bad experience at Long John Silver's City Hall, the one at Capitol next to Peninsula Plaza.

I was with MLB for an early dinner before our visit to the Night Safari on Saturday. The counter staff there were nonchalant and didn't give a rat's ass about customer service. I was standing in queue for 5 hours and 43 minutes and I was only the second one in line!

The other counter was empty but the staff over there would rather pretend to wipe her countertop for 5 hours and 35 minutes totally oblivious to the obvious fact that there are people in my queue waiting to be served.

Then when it was time for me to be served, the staff at my counter made me wait and I had to stand there like a fool for a few minutes before she decided that she finally felt inspired to serve someone else that day after the last one.

While waiting for my missing counter staff, the staff at the other counter also found new-found inspiration to earn her salary and called out to the guy behind me to be served.

I was thinking, "What in the flying funk?!"

How come the guy behind me gets to be served first? What, no one wants to serve me or something? I've got leprosy or something? Was my nose falling off my face?

I was served in the end. My counter staff had this stupid grumpy look on her face like as though she was mourning the death of someone close and from the way she was serving me, I got the impression she couldn't wait to get rid of me as if serving customers was something of an irritable notion in her book.

I was seething by then but for the sake of my little bird o' little bird o' mine, I decided to hold my breath in and be patient. I'm thinking for two now and I don't wanna implicate her for any stupid thing that I do.

In my private mind, I relished the thought of slapping my counter staff's face, at least.

The food came. She got our orders mixed up. I asked for tartar sauce for three times and I didn't get it too. To top it off, MLB's food seemed very little in portion and the calamari in her seafood combo looked un-fresh (us FnB people can tell the difference).

Where's an anger management therapist when I need one? They should seriously consider having an in-house therapist at this particular Long John Silver's branch for all traumatized customer like me.

I went back to my table and whined at MLB about the terrible experience I had at the counter. Un-freaking-belieavable crap that was.

As we were eating, suddenly we heard a ruckus and things banging and slamming from the direction of the counter. It seemed that one customer had finally got enough. This Ah Beng guy with tattoos and all was cursing at the the staff who served me earlier, threatening her and all.

I was like, "Hah! She deserved it, the $^$#!"

Went on for like 10-15 minutes. I was SOOO happy. It was great. However, from the look on her stupid face, we could see that she was still defiant and unapologetic. In her dark mind, she was still very confident that she was not wrong to be rude to paying customers.

The manager herded her into her office while she attempted to cool the Ah Beng down. They were talking for five minutes when I seeked permission from my little bird o' little bird o' mine to approach the two of them to back the Ah Beng up. I didn't think the manager was truly apologetic too.

With her blessings, I went over to join in the discussion. The Ah Beng (let's call him Jack) and I exchanged numbers and made a pact to formally complaint to whoever's in charge. The manager was trying to be smart. She gave the number of her Operations Manager for us to complain to. For an FnB guy like me, I am very aware that OMs are not very high in an FnB hierarchy and most likely to 'defend' the staff under his charge.

Jack informed me later that he had called the OM in question but I intend to go directly to their HQ. It would please me very much for the people at LJS City Hall to be reprimanded for they deserve what's coming at them. They were practically begging for it. How long more must customers suffer by their extremely poor customer service?

We have nothing against Long John Silver's, just the staff at the City Hall outlet. The following day, we even had lunch at their Millenia Walk outlet to erase the memories we had the day before. The quality of food there is what we expect from LJS and the customer service is acceptable. As long as they aren't rude, we can live with it.

PS: I couldn't get the contact details of their HQ, hence I've sent a letter out to The Straits Time Forum.

2007-03-24T07:25:00.000+08:00

There I was walking about in Carrefour Suntec City snooping around for the gardening equipment my sister Liana wanted (don't ask), wearing my French-coloured soccer jersey when someone stopped me to ask some questions.

He'd mistaken me for a staff.

Nice one but that's ok. I took it as a compliment. Many of Carrefour's staff are youngish, funky and good-looking. It's like they have their own in-house boyband over there, haha.

I guess I'm youngish, funky and good-looking too then ;-) In this case, I really can't blame the guy *smirk*

Then again, maybe it's just the shirt.

2007-03-23T06:59:00.000+08:00

I am actually quite disappointed with myself these past few months.

I realized that I'm not as fast and fit like before anymore. 'Before' here was just last year.

I've always thought that I could anytime match up to my NS-days level of fitness. Even after not running for a long time, I could regain my former levels in a week. But now, it's been three months and I'm still not there yet. Dang.

So yesterday I nearly killed myself, haha. I forced myself to run fast, desperate to see if it's all in the mind. Well it's definitely not in the mind. I'm just old. These legs of mine ain't what they used to be.

But hey, good news on the knee-front. My left knee still hurts a little when I'm running, especially when I'm changing directions in mid-run but it's getting better.

I've decided to add a knee-strengthening exercise in my regime last week and I'm glad to report that it's working. Now I don't feel unnecessary pain when I'm performing regular activities like walking.

Yeah! Off to my run now.

2007-03-21T08:24:00.000+08:00

I've written about me looking forward to playing soccer again. To think that there are probably 5.833028 million soccer teams in this country, I could just easily waltz my ass into any one of them right?

Wrong.

But I got quite a firm proposition yesterday, to play rugby of all things!

There's this team called Wolfpackz.

You see the irony here?

Goat. Wolf pack. Goat. Wolf pack. Goat. Wolf freaking pack.

It's madness but it's tough being a fighter without a cause, like an aimless ronin. At this point, I might even consider synchronized swimming.

So I'm keeping my options open, even if it means me getting myself mauled, shattered into pieces, trampled on and dragged by the hair in rugby.

Looks like Qurban might come early this season. Beh-eh-ek.

2007-03-18T07:44:00.000+08:00

I finally met up with MLB's family. Well sort of, her mom's side at least. I didn't know what or who to expect or how to behave, I just turned up anyway at her cousin Mariah's wedding. I've always tried to avoid weddings so this was like my first time at one in oh, a thousand years?

Small world as it is, Mariah's husband, Fadly, also happened to be a schoolmate of mine back at NYP's School of Business. He was one year my junior. We weren't close though. He was a soccer guy, I was a never was.

Since I sucked so much and all, I represented the school in rugby instead. It was my only hope. Not many guys would readily volunteer themselves to be squashed and battered on a regular basis even in the name of sports.

Anyway...

Met up with Davin, Melati's hubby. Found out he's an August 79 dude himself!

And of course, the happily pregnant Melati, MLB's cousin

And uh, the bride's sister, Mimi, caught in such an unglam position, haha

And you want how many?

No no no, these weren't the bride and groom, heh

There they are!

A little bit of small talk before we proceed

He must be thinking, "Finally, the creme de la creme... and I'm not talking about the cake"

2007-03-17T08:57:00.000+08:00

I just came back from a run. My fourth this week, or about 15km in total, which isn't much, really.

The good thing is though, ever since our return from Bangkok a month or so ago, I've shed some weight. Everything remains constant. My diet (see-food diet), my fitness regime (I work out to pig out), everything, but I guess my metabolism rate decided to come back to papa.

The bad thing is however, my left knee is acting up and now I'm alarmed. Normally I just sort of run it off or something but this one's been around since late last year and it's still here now. It's died down to bearable levels every now and then over recent months but never completely went away.

During my morning run today, I felt the pain stinging and stabbing like as though I was about to give birth to a thorny baby alien from my left knee. Like the tough guy that I am (ahem), I persevered on.

Completed all my routine as per normal... but when I got home, I completely went "Ouch ouch ouchiiieee! Aiyah! Aiyoh! Ah-ma! Gnnn!!!" and of course sent a text to MLB to whinge.

I'm gonna have to dig into my budget to go see a doctor to check it up by the end of next month latest. It's also a matter of timing since my reservist is coming up and and and ya know, and uh, and maybe uh, maybe ya know I can get an excuse slip or something. Ah ha ha.

Heh.

Maybe maybe, if I'm lucky I could even get a permanent excuse for life! Ah ha ha. Ya know, for all time. Ha ha. Like ya know - FOREVER!

Woo.

2007-03-14T07:26:00.000+08:00

Just taking some time to reminisce.

Was checking out my Friendster site. I've always wanted to delete my account there coz well, I don't really care much about it. I only signed up coz apparently it was cool to do so back then (in 03).

I like some of the testimonials I get from people in there. They were all from the 03 period, that means the period right after my NS and hence most of them are from my army mates.

And they're honest too, unlike the 'I write something good about you and then you write something good about me' testimonials a lotta other folk get. That is so fake and immature. I know, coz some of these people who wrote in, I don't write back. Or vice versa.

Here are some of the testimonials I got (before I proceed to delete my account):

From Herman, my secondary schoolmate and soccer team goalkeeper:

this guy here is my sec sch & soccer team mate... we were really crazy over soccer those days & actually formed up our own soccer team!

cool huh??? well lubis here is one hell of a friend! u can always count on him to be there whenever the need arises... great chap he is...

oh ya! did i mention he's real gd at soccer? mannn... you guys should see him in action on the pitch & you'll know what i'm talkin' about! damn good this guy! together wif the crazy bunch, we were quite a team to be reckoned with!

From Mike, one of the men from my platoon:

Still remember during our ATEC (army evaluation test), he was forced to carry the machine gun (13kg), his own rifle (3kg) and one feed box of rounds (10kg) when both his men were down.

can u imagine the load he was carrying??

From Orson, my Platoon Commander:

my commited mg commander, good friend and a great man. Its been really a privillege to work beside u and I have learnt a great deal.

Though it has not been smooth sailing, i should say that u should be proud that u have actually managed one of the more challenging tasks presented to a sergeant in 1 Guards!

not many is able to take over your role ok.. : )

From Kenny, my Platoon Sergeant:

Ah... my beloved GPMG Commander aka super man... You really amaze me with your grit determination and endurance...

Still remember the times when you were the one man GPMG team (Manpacker, Gunner & Commander all in one!) and the time you went 'rambo' style with that big, heavy and mean GPMG of urs...

You really can go miles and miles even with that heavy GPMG load of yours and still think straight (er... at times ah)! Kudos to you man.

Off-field, out of the greens, you're a great pal, buddy and colleague... Always there for me to complain and grouse to... haha... Wonder how you stand my 'nagging' sometimes...

From Harkaran, fellow Sergeant and best army mate:

One of a few honest and helpful persons you can ever find. Always there to give a helping hand.

I also taught this guy to slack and live NS like an NSF.

At first during NS he was on the BALL, until everyday i told him that he is an NSF, and luckily towards the end of his army daze he changed.

I also taught this guy how to "wayang" in front of CSM. He followed my style and was never ever marked by CSM again.

From HC, my Alpha Coy's CQMS, fellow Sergeant and one-time business associate:

my first impression of this guy is the resolve and commitment he is able to muster if he wants to (waking everybody up,etc,etc)

A commited and unassuming person, he is capable of assuming success if chance permits.

Enough of capabilities and they're true anyway, I think he looks more handsome than the present photo....haha

From Arozoo, another platoon's GPMG gunner whom I prefer to hang out with over my own men:

a hardworkin dude n damn u should have been my mg commander..

anyway lubis is a fantastic friend and gals if you're looking for someone special, charming n who looks like the 'rock' your search stop here..

it waz great knowing this awesome dude..

From Patricea, my army 'prom night' date:

He's much quieter than Liana (my sister), but that's coz he listens and hears what you say. So I believe he's much more intelligent than he lets on.

He's someone who's bent on always improving himself. But he also knows when to let everything go and party.

Someone worth getting to know better.

From Liana, my sister (duh):

If I am not his sister I will date him.

From Weizhong, my Platoon medic:

Lubis is a guy of muscles and brains.

A fine guy who knows when to do what and vice versa.

He's also a rugged rugby player. So don't piss this guy off...

Great PR skills too i must say.

U R THE MAN!!!!

2007-03-10T06:56:00.000+08:00

Whaddaya know? One of the Bistari Nasi Ayam Penyet operators is someone I know from my foodcourt-management past.

Whaddya whaddya know? He also happens to be a very close friend of my personal nasi ayam penyet cook, Ita.

MLB and I were at the Army Market food centre last night. I needed some real food. Instant noodle dinners are driving me nuts. I had mee soto upsized, man it was GOOD as well as nasi ayam penyet from another stall (didn't notice Bistari was there at first) while MLB had bistik.

Then I saw this familiar guy in neon pink Bistari uniform serving another table nearby. I was like, "Hey I know that guy!"

So I approached him to say hello and everything. We were so happy to see each other again. He told me as a matter of fact, Ita was just there five minutes ago. She just left for home!

Gaaa!!! I missed her. But no fret. I got to talk to her on the phone and... and I also got her new number. Woo! Now super authentic JAVANESE nasi ayam penyet is just a phone call away. Yay!

Yeah! Woo! Whee! Backflips! Somersaults! Boink! Splat! Ow.

2007-03-08T07:06:00.000+08:00

So I decided to stake out at the open field beside Parkview Square (aka Gotham City) to catch the guys playing soccer on Tuesday evening. I brought my soccer gear with me, all ready to kick some butts.

Yyyeah, I've reduced myself to being a stalker. I stalk soccer teams.

But anyway, they didn't turn up. And a good thing too coz it started to rain heavily at 6ish and we would all have to pack up anyway.

The timing was good. Around that time, my little bird o' little bird o' mine turned up after she knocked off work and so we both just went for dinner instead.

That was Tuesday. The following day, MLB said she saw them again! I think they're trying to elude me. Hmmmph!

So I've decided to pen out a letter asking them to contact me should they happen to plan to have a kickabout on Tuesdays, coz it's the only day I can join them, and pass it to MLB to pass it to any of them when she passes them by after work on the way home.

2007-03-04T08:29:00.000+08:00

Ramen Ten
B1, Far East Plaza
Food: 6
Drinks: 8
Ambience: 6
Service: 7
Pricing: 6
Ave: 6.6/10

2007-03-03T07:42:00.000+08:00

I am pleased with myself.

I'm not a guy who's big on technicalities but when threatened head-on I am left with no choice but to defend myself.

So a few days ago I realized that I could no longer connect wirelessly to my usual connection from my very own router.

I tried many ways to remedy the situation, basically all amateurish like unplugging and replugging cables, turning off and on the router and modem, uninstalling and reinstalling my wireless adapter, but all to no avail.

So I did the unthinkable and from a list of wireless network available from my neighbourhood, I 'illegally' connected to a network called 'DeeKaye' which seemed to have at least a 97% signal strength all the time just so I could continue using the Net.

My sister however, is adamant that we shouldn't be tapping to other people's network like this. I couldn't agree more but I just couldn't be bothered to do anything about it.

Besides, I had an inkling feeling that 'DeeKaye' was ours anyway. I suspected someone had changed the name from our usual name because whenever I switched my router off, my wireless network would die too.

I've never seen 'DeeKaye' before on the list of wireless networks and the signal being extremely strong, it could only mean that it was coming from at most one door away from my flat from whichever side.

Now THAT is unbelievable considering the fact that on my right, I have a drunk-as-a-skunk neighbour and on my left are a couple of senior citizens. I cannot accept the fact that they have embraced the age of the Internet overnight and installed a broadband connection too.

My sister offered to deal with it. So great, I let her. Haha, maybe I shouldn't coz she disabled my wireless adapter and now it's rendered useless. Sometimes it works, most times it doesn't. Everytime I tried to reinstall it, my laptop would get the evil blue screen and automatically shutdown.

And the stupid Starhub guy she spoke to on the phone to guide her through the process convinced her that 'DeeKaye' wasn't ours against all indication pointing the other way.

At this stage, it could mean two things: Either our router was kaput like she believed it was OR that it was still alive and kicking but someone's hijacked it, like what I believe it was.

I was determined to prove me right.

Took all of one and a half hours before I left for work yesterday but it was worth it coz I learned how to protect my wireless network AND not to take for granted of the fact that others are going to treat you with the same respect you extend to them (Yes I'm talking to YOU DeeKaye!).

With a lot of assistance from another Starhub guy on the phone, I managed to remedy the situation wholly as well as protect our wireless connection from future attacks.

Firstly, on my sister's PC, I tried to detect all the wireless networks from her wireless adapter. Hers is stronger than mine and can probably detect networks from as far as Uranus and I discovered there was another called 'deekaye' (not to be confused with DeeKaye') with only 20% signal strength.

My suspicion is stronger now. There is a guy called DeeKaye somewhere with his own network and maybe he changed our unprotected network to prove something.

I went to the Linksys website to confirm, chop, guarantee with lifetime warranty that our Linksys router was indeed ours. Yeap it was. Through this, I also discovered that the name had indeed been changed to 'DeeKaye' from the usual.

I changed it back but this time to my email address so DeeKaye or any other ungracious suckers would have to deal with me next time they're thinking about connecting to my wireless which now that it's crossed my mind, will never happen again.

Simply because I have now configured my router such that only my sister's computer and mine can connect to OUR wireless network. Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

Now maybe I should have done it right from the beginning but on a personal level, I felt, why not share? Sure someone's riding on my wireless network while I pay the bill for them but hey, I'm all for that. I'm not rich but I can afford it and it doesn't cost me anything extra anyway.

But when you start hijacking my wireless network and claiming it as your own, that gets under my skin and you deserve what's coming at ya.

2007-03-02T06:55:00.000+08:00

I've been high on Panadol since Sunday. I not only finished the strip of Panadol Extra MLB gave me a few weeks ago, I also finished the ones my sister left in the fridge. PLUS, my retail neighbour gave a me a whole new box of Panadol Regular (30 tablets) and there's less than 10 left of them by now. No wonder I feel so drugged-up.

At first it was for migraine for all that mental stress I gave myself unnecessarily. It came, died down but never completely went away until Wednesday morning. I thought I had a brain tumour or something.

I was on halfday on Tuesday. The trick was to slack around. I planned nothing for myself. Just went home straight after work to veg around and had an early night.

I was planning to do some retail therapy on Wednesday. On my hitlist were to borrow some books from the library as well as purchase a box of disposable contact lenses, a sports duffel bag and a pair of cargo pants. All from within 3km of my workplace.

The area around my workplace is an evil place, rain or shine. There is no shelter building to building. When the sun's shining bright, get ready to be roasted. When it rains, get ready to swim.

I swum. The rain was pouring heavily. However I was determined that nothing would stop me. I just put on my jacket and walked in the downpour.

At lunchtime, from Suntec City I walked to Shaw Tower, then to Bugis Junction, then to Bugis Village, then to the National Library and then back to Suntec City to make a complete and systematic loop (sorry I'm Leo). Each time exposing myself to the evil weather.

But I was happy.

At Shaw Tower, the moment I laid my eyes on the black High Sierra duffel bag at Sports Connection, I knew it was love at first sight. It has found me. Look no further. This bag was going on sale at only $29! It's spacious, it's got a compartment for a water bottle, a separate compartment for shoes and get this - there's even a compartment for a ball! It was also the LAST piece. If THAT isn't a sign from God, I don't know what is.

I got my box of Focus Dailies at Bugis Junction. I'm trying to maximize the God-given beauty of the curliness of my hair by growing it longer and I felt my glasses were getting in the way. I'm going for the Julius Caesar look. So there.

I was with MLB last Saturday when we saw this shop that sells cargo pants at $30 at Bugis Village. It was the most I'd pay for cargo pants. I vowed to return when I got paid and what dya know, the shop was having a special on Wednesday. Selected cargo pants were going at half freaking price! Woo!

I changed to my new pants immediately and proceeded to my last stop - the library to borrow my books. It was a covert operation. I had to make it fast. In and out within five minutes tops coz not only was I drenched to the bone, I was also eating into my lunchtime. I had to bear in mind to spare enough time for the walk back to work. In such an unforgiving weather, more time than usual needed to be factored in.

I made it. I was only a little late, otherwise I achieved all my objectives. Except one.

Shopping in the rain, of course there was a calculated risk that I would fall sick and indeed I have. That's the price to pay when you are pressed for time. Serves me right.

I don't know which one's worse, a 3-day migraine or a 3-day flu but hey, I've got them one after the other. How more rotten can my luck be?

There's only one way to go from here. To the warmth and comfort of my little bird. We're going for a massage tomorrow (on top of everything, my lower back is just about to fold in half due to old age) and then we're having Japanese for dinner and then we'll cap it all off with a trip to the movies.

PS: Just came back from a run. Hopefully that'd help improve the flu situation - 8.52am

2007-02-28T06:43:00.000+08:00

What I'd really love to be doing right now is to play soccer again.

It's got nothing to do with the recent Lions defence of the ASEAN CHAMPIONSHIP coz if you remember, I did try to do something like this unsuccessfully last year too.

My mistake was to commit myself to playing for a competitive amateur team. Wasn't surprised that I got kicked out coz being in the retail industry back then and even now, time is a luxury I can't afford.

So I won't be too ambitious this time. Just looking forward for a kickabout once or twice a week, on Tuesdays mostly when I'm on halfday and when MLB has evening classes. Doesn't matter if it's street soccer, basketball court soccer or field soccer as long as I get to kick a ball with a bunch of guys.

I'm mentally rushing this thing coz my back and knees are getting more and more creaky the older I get and it is obvious that the longer I wait, the lesser my own chances are to actually get to do this.

Problem is though, besides some kids who sometimes play at the nearby multipurpose hall, no other male adult in my neighbourhood seems to give a bleep about soccer.

No one wants to play with meeeee!

It's apparent coz if I remember right, my SISTER and I were the only ones in this area who screamed our heads off when we witnessed Khairul score the Cup-clinching goal for the Lions against Thailand on TV a few weeks ago.

I came across some guys called the Bugis Beatles on the Net who sometimes play at an open field near my workplace. I thought these were the same guys MLB told me she saw playing over there too but after some checks, I don't think they're the same fellas.

Bugis Beatles have shifted to Bukit Merah Secondary School and they play on Sundays mostly. I can't do Sundays due to work.

Next best thing for me to do is to find out who the guys MLB saw playing on that open field and to ask them if I could join in the fun. Don't know when that'd be.

Meantime, if you happen to know any bunch of guys who play soccer around Braddell, Toa Payoh, Bugis or City Hall, do let me know.

2007-02-27T08:08:00.000+08:00

With regards to my proposal of a new remuneration package, my boss and I have discussed and it looks like he's settling for NONE of the options I laid out.

He counter-proposed with two ultimatums: Either take over the shop 100% or be reduced to just an ordinary worker. No mid ground.

I have discussed this with my Chief Everything Officer that is my little bird and we've decided that even if we could raise the money to take over the shop, we wouldn't.

This shop was only meant to be a transition for me. My time here was only meant to achieve two objectives. To learn the ropes of running an actual retail operation as well as to make money.

At the end of our lease, I was just gonna take my experience and money and run. There are so many other ways my CEO and I can come up with to invest THAT kinda money on and deal in something that we actually have a true passion for.

I admire the guy but he can be sneaky. Thinks I'm some kinda stupid, uneducated fool or something.

So as it is, it looks like I'm gonna reduce myself to just being an ordinary worker until our lease ends while at the same time keeping one eye out for other opportunities. Definitely won't be tying my future any further than end November with this organization.

2007-02-26T08:14:00.000+08:00

The most bizzare thing happened last night.

We were all asleep. It was 3am, so obviously... .

Then suddenly I heard a ruckus outside. It seemed that my immediate neighbour, this Malay guy who lives in the apartment next to mine with his wife and kids was cursing and swearing non-stop. He was drunk as a skunk.

I am sure it was the beer talking but he also "invited" me out to fight him.

Who me?

Yup. Me.

How did I become the butt of his anger? He was cursing my mother, my father, if I had a cat, he was cursing my cat too, my laptop, everything. He was like, "You're so tough right!? Come on out lah! Come on! No need to put on your shirt, I'm ready. I'll teach you!"

It appears (from the things he said) that he has been holding a grudge against me for asking him one night to stop knocking nails into the wall coz we needed to sleep.

If I remember correctly, I was polite. I apologized before asking, I said please and I said thank you. It was two in the morning on the first day of the last Eid ul Fitri but still, it was two in the morning. He should have more common sense.

Apparently, he couldn't accept me approaching him like that. I heard him tell the cops that he's been in the area since 69 and I've only been around for a few years and I shouldn't be telling him what to do.

And now he wants to kill me.

Kewl.

2007-02-24T07:15:00.000+08:00

I don't set out to be rude to other people but sometimes people are just asking for it. And in my book, if thou ask for it, thou shalt get it.

Below is a reconstructed conversation between me and a customer whom I shall call "Idiot".

Idiot: Can I have one of this fan?

Goat Almighty: Sure.

I: Is this working?

GA: *stares at the idiot* Why would I be selling things that aren't working?

I: *squeaks* Ok.

I: Does it come with a warranty?

GA: Yup. Seven days. IF it doesn't work or dies on you, just bring it back. I'll give you a new one.

I: ONLY seven days!? *look of utter disbelief like as though he just found out his daughter is illegitimately-pregnant with Mr Bean's kid*

GA: It's only four dollars. What do you expect, a lifetime warranty? Get lost.

Like I said, I didn't wanna be rude but some people are just simply unbelievable. They don't deserve it.

2007-02-22T07:20:00.000+08:00

Here's the full entry on my Bangkok trip with my little bird.

I'm just gonna post photos on my whole four days of no work during the Chinese New Year period.

View from the top

We stayed at Holiday Inn Bangkok in Chit Lom

This was out first stop: Suan Lum

We took the big ferris wheel over there. It was my first time.

The people there are so spiritual. Many times a day I'd see people taking a few seconds to offer blessings whenever they come across a Buddhist shrine.

Cats there are fluffy

While the dogs are lazy. We saw this lazy fuzz butt at the MRT station in Ma Bu Kong

MLB loves the mango salad which actually has soft shell crab in the ingredient. Urgh.

They celebrate Chinese New Year too. This one's at The Amarin right across our hotel. I haven't seen a proper long dragon since I was living in Ang Mo Kio yeeeears back when I was still a toddler.

We went bowling on the fourth day of CNY. Here's Mr Bola showing his stuff in all his gusto.

EeEEEYah!

Strikestrikestrikestrikestrikestrike

Go Heidiiiiiii!!!

Huuuuarghk!

This one's going in (to the side) heh heh heh

Everybody clear out. Let the expert show you how it's done.

Pscyho is getting focused

Ok let's roll!

And it's aaaaa SteeeeeeeRIKE!

2007-02-20T10:13:00.000+08:00

Just came back from a short weekend trip in Bangkok with MLB. Took photos but will wait till she sends them to me before I post them up.

So what happened was we went to a couple of places on the first night we touched down.

It was unbelievable. We actually managed to get two original Adidas soccer jerseys from a sportshop in Si Lom for only b588 ($28)! I didn't bring much but MLB kept persuading me to get them since we could never get this good a deal in Singers... so I did. Couldn't be happier.

After that we scooted over to Suan Lum night market where we shopped somemore. MLB got a few pretty fashion accessories while I got myself a really comfortable pair of sandals made from straw that I could use at home for only b80! Cheapness! That's less than 4 Singdollars!

We were so pooped out after that adventure.

Us being Leos, we planned everything beforehand. Very anal. Our plan was revolved centrally around SHOPPING.

The next day we attacked Chatchuchak.

I thought the people there were all very rude. Rude rude rude rude rude. Rude.

Ok so we were at this shop when I saw a couple of bermudas and cargo pants that I wanted to try on so I asked the guy to give me them for size 32. And then he was like "No no no, you size 35". I said "Dude, cannot be. I'm size 32".

Dude: No, you 35.

Me: 32.

Dude: I measure (then he slipped a measuring tape around my waist, with me still protesting). See! You 35!

Me: *Gasp* Grumble grumble. Ok gimme 35 then.

Dude: You 35. 35. See? You 35. I just see I know.

Me: Ok shut up.

Dude: You 35.

Me: Shut up. Just gimme the thing. Harrrumph. Idiot.

Got a couple of good deals here too. Cargo pants were supposed to be b650 and the bermudas b350 but we got them for b740 total. Less than $30. Woo. The same stuff in Singers would easily be twice the price. I was a happy camper.

Then as were walking, browsing around, we came by this shop that sold shirts so I just went over to check it out flicking at the shirts on the rack. Suddenly this guy came from behind and said, "You XL, you XL" and proceeded to pick out a couple of shirts in that size for me to look.

I was like, "I never!" So rude. Am I THAT fat? I decided not to continue anymore and walked away in a huff. Humph!

Then we were at this other shop that sold polo tees. MLB helped pick out one in size L which was nice but when I tried it on, it was quite tight I could see my tummy portruding out but MLB asked how much it was anyway and the guy said b230.

Fine. So let's TRY size XL instead. "How much it this?" MLB asked again. "b250", the guy said. What 20 more bahts for what? The excess material? Ack. I'm fat. And I have to pay 20 more baht for that as a penalty. So I didn't.

MLB actually came up with a list of places with Halal food before we went over. Let us know if you want that list. We'll be more than happy to oblige.

After that, we went over to this place opposite our hotel for a pedicure. It was my first pedicure experience. Cool. The girl doing my feet cut me a couple of times but it was ok. I'm a strong little boy. I just couldn't stand her scrubbing my feet though coz it was so dang ticklish, but now I've got pretty fit. Yay!

We went back to rest and went out again in the evening just to check Ma Bu Kong out. It's a cool place. Lotsa good shopping but we were late and the shops were already closing so we planned to go again the next day before we had to go to the airport.

Which we did.

It was great shopping. Just like Chatchuchak. But airconditioned. More or less the same prices too. Got myself two more original soccer jerseys, Olympique Marseille and Boca Juniors from a factory outlet for only b360 both. That's about $15 only.

Also got myself a pair of really nice red and orange board shorts for b300. I really love it. I'm wearing it now.

The thing about Bangkok is that it's not much different from Singapore. It's modern and everything. Quite unlike what I expected it to be. The racial mix is also more or less the same.

The people are more laid back. No rush. MLB and I could sense other Singaporeans in the crowd easily. We were playing this "Spot the Singaporean" game between us and we spotted quite a lot. It was embarassing.

From what I've seen, the people there are also very enterprising and they really put in an effort in the things that they do. They have pride. Much respect for that. I mean we have many small shops selling the exact same thing every few steps and yet they still dare to continue what they're doing.

One thing I may never try again is of course to take the tuk tuk. It was scary experience for me. These little things rule the roads. The drivers rev up their engines all the time and they're really reckless. I'm sure they know what they're doing but that doesn't stop me from scaring the crap out of myself on the first night going to Suan Lum. Yikes.

And also, both MLB and I agree that almost everyone here is pretty and gorgeous, even the guys. They're just folks you see on the street but they really look good.

That's why I am not surprised people there keep mistaking me for a local. *smirk*

When it was time to leave, we were kinda dragging our feet. We didn't really wanna go. This is so abrupt and sudden. We haven't got enough of Bangkok and this definitely won't be our last trip there.

2007-02-17T08:02:00.000+08:00

I'd like to wish every Chinese folk from every Chinatown in every country of the world a very Happy Chinese New Year.

And to commemmorate this joyous occasion, I have composed a very special poem from me to all of you, straight from the heart.

Ahem.

New year brings a lot of hope
Long as you stay away from dope
This may be the year of the pig
But do try not to over eat
To last year we say bye bye
To this guy hong bao yi ker lai*

Thank you thank you. I should probably not consider being a poet for my next career move. Heh.

My little bird, o' little bird o' mine and I will be away for the long weekend trying to improve the GDP of one of the neighbouring countries.

See ya when I see ya.

*Bring one red packet over

2007-02-16T07:19:00.000+08:00

Had a meeting with most of the retailers around my shop's area yesterday.

The agenda was how to tackle the problem of poor human traffic flow. That seemed to be the only concern because with a healthy human traffic flow, everything else will fall into place, chief of it being an increase in sales.

I've warned my boss about this before we took up the premise but he refused to listen. In fact, at one point he even wanted to take up a premise at Dhoby Ghaut MRT station! That'd be even more of a suicidal move.

If you haven't heard, the retailers over there recently went on strike and refused to operate for a day in protest of the fact that their landlord hadn't done anything to assist them in creating more public awareness.

Despite everything, I'm glad to announce that among all the retail shops in my area, mine is the only one that is not losing money. My shop is the smallest. So small until there is no space even for me that I have to sit outside the shop. Compared with the other shops, mine is also the one with the most ugly renovation work done. We did a lotta DIY work.

In fact I feel quite smug about it. My shop is actually the most popular in the area and it's got to do with a combination of choice of name which never fails to encourage a few giggles from passersby, the extremely reasonable prices due to the fact that we self-import our own merchandize, our low operating cost, the way we display our products by letting people touch and feel them and of course having a hunky (and of late, chunky, haha) shopkeeper helps too.

I still turned up for the meeting though. Partly to give face to the other retailers and partly because I wanna learn from their points of view of how they propose to go about increasing the amount of human traffic flow to the area. We made it clear among ourselves that we have no intention to protest or anything. It's a peaceful gathering.

The outcome of the meeting wasn't really exciting. Our conclusion is to collectively pressure our landlord to more actively promote the existence of our retail area instead of doing it individually like we have been doing. I'm not hopeful but what the heck. From my experience on the side of the landlord in my past employment, in this country, I know the landlord wouldn't give a rat's ass at all. It's not their problem as long as they get paid the rental every month.

On a personal note, my boss has responded to my proposal of a new remuneration structure. In my proposal, I offered him four options. I call it a remuneration structure because I'm no ordinary worker. My boss is actually my franchisor. I'm the boss of this shop but he's the boss of the organization. That makes him my boss. And that makes me the boss of..... uh, nobody. Haha.

We agreed to conclude the final details of this proposal after Chinese New Year next week. As for me, he could throw a dart at my proposal and I'd be happy with any of the options it falls on because each option I offered is equally beneficial for both of us and definitely much better than my current personal remuneration structure.

2007-02-14T07:13:00.000+08:00

All my life I haven't got anyone to celebrate Valentine's Day with.

Funny thing is, now that I do, I do not celebrate it anymore.

Firstly, I am not a Christian. Secondly, even if I am, I feel this day is just too commercialized. Thirdly, everyday should be Valentine's Day when you're in love.

But in a world where hatred rules... where there are people who die not knowing the reason... pawns of politicians... I'd like to wish all who celebrates this day a good one.

May more babies be conceived on this day (and night haha).

One love. One goat.

2007-02-13T06:56:00.000+08:00

My mom left for Perth yesterday evening.

She plans to stay there for as long as possible.

My brother went with her but he's only staying for a few days due to work commitments.

*grumble grumble jealous grumble grumble*

PS: MLB got her digicam back. It was in her friend's car.

PS2: Apparently, I was so engrossed with the food that I had no idea that Team SingaPerth and MLB (on behalf of Team Leo since I was so busy with the food) actually contributed to paying for our satay on Saturday as well. Just wanted to state that out. Heh.

2007-02-12T06:52:00.000+08:00

Just trying to recall what's been happening of late in my life. Have been on semi auto pilot for a couple of weeks now.

Well I finally managed to get rid of Waffles, my ^%$^^!!! annoying digicam for $120 to some guy on eBay who was getting it for his teenage son. It's a beginners' camera and I felt it was very suitable for the kid. The guy made a good choice in that respect. I didn't. He was very happy about it too. Left me a good rating and some nice words on eBay.

Then there was the new phone my mom got me. I was planning to pay for it myself but my mom sort of insisted to foot the bill so uh, if she insisted, I couldn't have resisted. Heh. During that outing (my siblings and I take turns to date mom out each week), I also got myself two new t-shirts at $5 each which were damn cool. I love them. Was planning to get some new underwear too but didn't see any nice ones. Very picky when it comes to my undergarments.

Talking about t-shirts, my little bird also got me one from her working trip to Vietnam recently. No, it wasn't a 'My little bird when to Vietnam and all she got me was this t-shirt' t-shirt, thanks. It was a really nice gray one with blue trimming and a picture of Che Guevara emblazoned on it. It struck home coz I do see myself as an anti-establishment leftist type of guy. I'm a nerd but I kinda have this occasional shave-against-the-grain radical streak.

Oh yeah, on February third, while MLB was in Vietnam, my family and I also met up to celebrate my sister Leita and her kid Ball Ball's birthdays. Yeap, they are both born on the same date (31st Jan). I joined them up late due to work but we had fun firstly at her home and then at someplace in Yio Chu Kang just chilling out. We also took a picture of all of us with Liana's new Dopod phone and sent it to MLB with the caption 'Having fun without you'. Ha ha. Very annoying.

I delayed sending my 'new remuneration structure' proposal to my boss till yesterday. The timing was better then coz our new shipment just arrived from China early last week and I didn't wanna bother him with it while he was busy processing all the 125 boxes that arrived. It's a serious proposal and I wanted him to get everything else outta the way first and focus on it properly.

MLB and I hung out for a quite a bit last week. On Saturday, against my bank balance, I actually got myself a new pair of sandals by Nike. It was just supposed to be a window-shopping trip but they had only two pairs left of that particular design in light gray and one of them was in my size and, and, and it was going cheap at $28 only from $40.95.

And also, also, we managed to hoodwink the lady at the shop to get MLB the women's model in that design for the same price. It wasn't supposed to be on sale coz they still had a lot of that going on but since we were getting two pairs, the lady just crumbled and submitted to our demands.

Cool beans but sorry, no pics to show us being corny in our couple sandals coz not only have I sold my $^$^#!!! Waffles, MLB had also managed to 'misplace' her own digicam. She was quite devastated when she found out. Couldn't find it anywhere. Hope it magically appears soon.

That same day we also hung out with Suraya, Khai and Yaslam at East Coast wolfing down satay from Haron's. Ok, they were eating. I was wolfing. Khai sorted out the satays between us and he understandingly portioned me the most number of sticks. I like the guy. Very sensible. Heh.

Nice satays they were. I was told they are factory-made but what the heck. They were big. They were thick. They were juicy and tasty and the peanut gravy was worth every single dollar Yaslam paid. Heh heh yeah, it was Yaslam's treat. Thanks dude. He's such a happening guy he is.

Unfortunately satays weren't enough for this goat. I also ordered nasi ayam penyet for both me and Yaslam after that which wasn't very good but I'm sure you're tired of reading about me and my quest for the best nasi ayam penyet on this island. Bistari has a franchise in East Coast Park and even though the coconut rice was ok, nice, the sambal was bleah and the fried chicken salty.

No no no, I'm not done yet. Nahi nahi nahi *wagging fingers* After everyone finished watching Yaslam and I wallop the nasi ayam penyet, we had dessert. Suraya brought apple pie. Yay!

I rudely self-declared two pies for myself and one each for every one of them. It wasn't a democratic thing but no one objected. Surprised maybe, at the rate I was eating, but definitely didn't protest or anything. Cool. I'm a food dictator. A leftist one.

Last Thursday, MLB booked us tickets for Babel at Bugis near her home for Saturday night 11.45pm. I was expecting a movie set in ancient times but nooooo... . Instead it was set in modern times and it was about the intertwining lifes of some folks in various parts of the world in various languages, obviously. They had subtitles so no worries.

It's a very clever movie. The Hispanic team that produced it was clearly making a mockery of American paranoidizm and hypocrisy of everything they supposedly stand for. At least that's how I saw it... or wanted to see it. But hey, it's my brain. You use your own.

2007-02-07T07:26:00.000+08:00

So uh... my mom got me a new phone.

Yup. I'm 28 this year. Thanks bye.

Thanks for the Nokia 6070 mom! I love you!

PS: It isn't my birthday till August. Was merely impying how old I am and still needing my mom to uh, intervene when it comes to certain matters, heh.

2007-02-04T22:21:00.000+08:00

Land of frowns. We munched their butts 1-1 in Bangkok and won 3-2 on aggregate.

So uh, nice try. We're now even stevens with Thailand at three ASEAN CHAMPIONSHIP wins apiece ever since the tournament started. Thank you, come again.

RrrRrRroAr!!! Dop! I mean-

mmmMmmMEeEOOoWRRRrrROArR!!! Whoopsie Daisy! Heh heh *quivering lips*

Rrr- Oh I give up. *rolleyes x 262781816*

2007-02-03T08:03:00.000+08:00

Here are a few things on the newsfront.

I finally sold $%^&$!!! Waffles. Note to self: Dude, optical zoom man, optical zoom. Even my mom's digicam is better than mine. That's the ultimate.

MLB left for Vietnam yesterday for the weekend. Duty calls. No problem. I'm way hotter than any Vietnamese goat ;-)

And yeah, the frog finally left my throat and I managed to lay out my suggestion for a new remuneration structure at work.

I've actually already got a pay raise which I didn't even notice strangely, but the plan wasn't just for me to be a wage-earner in the first place.

Simply put, since this profit-sharing thing is confusing everyone, I'm gonna recommend a wage + commission on revenue structure instead. Exact figures swimming around in my head right now but I'll finalize things by next week.

It all started when he approached me to also take on the responsibility to garner sales from outside the shop. Meaning I'd now be in charge of both indoor and outdoor sales (from the corporate world as well as governmental bodies).

Just to clarify, we're not talking about me walking around with a shirt and tie, carrying a big bag of IT paraphernalia and approaching people at coffeeshops with a sales pitch and all that. We're talking about going about the proper channels and all that.

I see this as an upward move but I had to ask myself, "What's in it for me?" I do this extra work to add sales to the shop that I manage but to be frank I still don't think I am able to hit the $40 000 quota even with revenue from outside the shop factored in. Our January retail sales was only slightly above half of that.

So in a civilized manner, with only a slight hint of 'you better, or else' message I approached him. I said I didn't mind going through all this extra trouble but something has to come back and that we both have to be fair towards each other.

I'm not keen on just taking back home $xxxx forever just because we'd never hit the $40 000 sales quota he imposed on my shop. Our operating cost is not high. He's making money no matter how much the shop makes and I want a slice of that.

In all fairness, my new remuneration package is ideal to both of us since it means I am guaranteed of a few cents for every dollar the shop makes with no ridiculous sales quota to meet.

Nothing is concluded for now. Till next week.

2007-02-01T07:58:00.000+08:00

ASEAN CHAMPIONSHIPS FINAL FIRST LEG

Singapore 2 Thailand 1

The Internet is being slow this morning. Very frustrating when you're trying to be quick before going to work.

Anyway, Liana and Armando (some Swiss-German guy) decided to join us as well. It's Armando's first time watching a soccer match here and I reckon he, in fact all 55,000 of us got more than we bargained for.

A little trivia on this whole ASEAN CHAMPIONSHIPS thingy. It was formed 12 years ago between all member nations of the Association of South East Asian Nations to take soccer to another level as well to foster better ties between us.

Fast forward 12 years later, it's now been reduced to nothing but an utter farce.

For instance, Brunei, one of the founding members isn't in this year's tournament for reasons unknown even though they've got an extremely rich king. Even The Philippines and Laos, the tournament's traditional whipping boys make a point to take part.

Timor Leste, the newest country in this part of the world isn't in the tournament. Perhaps they couldn't raise the necessary funds. All I know is they cannot use political strife as an excuse since Iraq and Palestine are still playing soccer on the world stage and they've got more on their plate than most countries on Earth.

Politically-speaking, this year's tournament was supposed to commemmorate the anniversary of the formation of ASEAN and we couldn't ask for a worse final match up than between the current one - Singapore versus Thailand.

Why? Because of late the relationship between both our countries has been straining. It all started when last year, their then PM Thaksin Shinawatra sold his telecoms company to our state-owned Temasek Holdings.

The Thai people got paranoid. I don't wanna bore you with the details but let's just say it got so bad that there was a political upheaval in Thailand and the result is now their country is governed by military people. Scary smelly brown stuff.

And last night at the soccer match, it got worse.

From the first whistle to the last the Thai soccer team showed nothing but unsporting behaviour. Wrestling with our players, diving and feigning injury in order to upset our team's rhythm and get our players yellow-carded and that's still not too bad.

Yeah, because like the little girls that they are, no offence to little girls, they suddenly decided not to play in the 83rd minute and walked off the pitch towards their team bench in protest of the penalty call the referee made on a foul on Noh Alam Shah.

I've actually got video footage of this but I think the file's too big or something so I can't post it on here. They simply just refuse to continue play. Disgraceful behaviour from people who hail from the Land of Smiles.

Really unbecoming bringing The Beautiful Game into disrepute like that. I don't know if the referee made a bad call or whatever (not that I would protest) but sometimes decisions don't go our way. It's part of the game's excitement. The Socceroos lost in the last World Cup when Fabio Grosso of Italy dived in the box to earn his team a penalty but you don't see their players storming off the pitch like spoiled brats.

There are rules and regulations for this type of thing. Play did resume after about 15 minutes. Our Mustafic Fahrudin blasted the ball into their net at the spotkick and we held on with the score at 2-1 for about ten more minutes before the match officially ended.

It's not over for Thailand though. I'm sure they would be heavily punished by the AFC if not also by FIFA for their outburst of petulance.

For now, all we need to do is to park a bus in front of our goalpost in the return leg in Bangkok this Sunday.

2007-01-28T07:33:00.000+08:00

Singapore reach ASEAN final on penalty kicks

I was overconfident that I could get tickets for this tie easily even at the last minute despite MLB's warnings but nooo... .

Went to Bishan Stadium on Friday, a day before the match and was told that all tickets EVERYWHERE was SOLD OUT.

I was like, "What the funk?!?!?" Impossible! Incredible! Unbelieveable! It was a hair-tearing moment only REAL fans would understand. I mean, all our matches so far with only a third of the stadium filled up and now suddenly this one's sold out!

But I should have known this being the LAST competitive match being played at the National Stadium before it gets torn down and the LAST competitive match conveniently being between us and our northern sworn rivals that this would happen.

Thank goat MLB's got friends in high places and not only did we manage to get mere seats at the National Stadium, we got GRANDSTAND seats too! Woo!!! Best seats in the house for the first time for both of us and the last time ever too!!!

Did I mention they were free? (Suck that Kat! ;P)

They were free. Gratis. No money changed hands. We got them delivered to us. Didn't have to move our butts one more centimetre. They were begging us to take the tickets off them. In fact, they even offered to buy us a yacht but we kindly turned them down on this offer coz we are not really that snooty. Besides, we were already planning to get us our own private helicopter anyway.

Haaaaah...

This was the first clue that told us it was gonna be a capacity crowd. Dang, Kallang MRT was packed with supporters.

National Stadium, here we come!

Welcome to The National Stadium Mr Goat. (Woohoo, who's the cute chick?)

We're in! We're in!

Someone couldn't play coz someone got a red card in the first leg

We were seated right behind the Singapore bench obviously

We were seated alright

Until someone started the Kallang Wave

And this, THIS is the Kallang Roar! That's what I'm talkin' about

And this, don't know if you can see it, but that tiny yellow patch there are the Malaysian supporters. Aaaaw so cute right?

Let's roll out!

But uh, before we do, just a gentle reminder

SOCK!

KAPOW!

KAYO!

But the score still remained at one-all even after 120mins in this fiercely fought match. It worried us a lot when our most committed player, goalscorer and lifesaver also happened to be the guy playing with a bandage rolled around his head (sustained during the first leg), our No. 2 Muhammad Ridhuan

The tie was broken when the match when to nerve-wrecking penalty shootouts. It was down to the last kick. Everyone managed to convert their spotkick one after another earlier but thank goat Malaysia's Khyril Muhymeen, the last kicker, decided to... hmmm, I wouldn't call it a kick, more like pass the ball to our custodian Lionel Lewis.

What a great pass too! Lionel just needed to stand there and wait. Coolness... .

And hence, ladies and gentlegoats, we proudly march to the ASEAN Championship final against the winner of today's other semi between Thailand and Vietnam second leg (the Thais lead 2-0 from the first leg).

What a superb finale for our grand old dame that is the National Stadium. Ok bye.

2007-01-25T08:29:00.000+08:00

Was gonna go for a run but then I noticed it's raining outside. Didn't even know that it was. Silent this one. No wonder it was still dark at 730am just now.

Good. Gives me some time to ponder about some things.

All my life people have this impression of me - that if I had two strengths, that I'm diligent as well as disciplined. I too thought the same.

Thought.

It's true. I'm not as good as I thought I was or other people think I am for that matter.

But things are different now. I'm on the wrong side of my 20s and the ten year plan I set myself three years ago looks very bleak at the moment.

I keep getting myself involved in the wrong things especially when it comes to my career.

Had a little chat with my sister Bug yesterday. She said that she understands my desire to fulfil my ambition to be a proper businessman but I have to start from the bottom and not depend on other people like I am now.

Other people are out to eat me alive. I can't deny that it makes me a lousy businessman-to-be at the moment when I cannot detect myself being made a fool of until it's too late.

It's naive of me to even have that tiny hope that other people would treat me in the same way that I treat them - that is with respect as a fellow human being.

God planned it in this way coz maybe He thinks I didn't deserve to get my tangible rewards sooner than I want it to be because I might not be able to handle them.

He does want me to succeed in my ambition but He wants me to slowly does it while in the meantime putting me in situations where I learn to be more wise.

This is The School of Hard Knocks and what better educator could I ask for than God Himself?

Time is not running out but from now on I need to instil inside of me that I'm not thinking for one person anymore. If I thought I could risk it all before since I had nothing to lose, I have to stop this very second.

The future is clearer especially now that I have a wonderful partner and that only means I'm stronger since I am more complete.

Can't look back.

2007-01-24T08:46:00.000+08:00

ASEAN SOCCER CHAMPIONSHIP SEMI FINAL (FIRST LEG)

Singapore 1 Malaysia 1

Watched this tie with my little bird last night.

Singapore was crap in the first half... er, wait a minute. Singapore is crap in ANY half any time of the year but especially crappy in yesterday's first half.

Couldn't string three passes in a row, couldn't tackle, couldn't head the ball out of defence, couldn't even shoot the ball straight into the net from like ONE metre (Mr Khairul Amri the culprit).

We came back stronger in the second half but the Tigers' Hardi caught us by surprise with his fluke cross which curled leftwards into our net from our right flank after a quick throw in.

Thank goat Noh Alam Shah equalized. At least that gives me more incentive to go and support them LIVE at the Kallang Stadium this Saturday for the second leg with my little bird.

Then Mr Aide Iskandar got his second yellow card minutes before the final whistle for dissent and promptly got sent off. Not sure what happened but I think he tried to be a smart ass by re-joining play so quickly after seeking treatment for injury on the sidelines without the ref's permission.

He was asking for it. The whole match he showed how his old legs couldn't keep up with the Tigers' speediness. He pulled and tugged their shirts to stop them and certainly deserved it. Obviously he should just retire and take up mud wrestling as a new career path.

Thank goatness he will not be featuring for us again in this tournament. He may be the captain, but there are other leaders on the pitch like Noh Alam Shah, Daniel Bennett and Lionel Lewis. Besides, Baihakki Khaizan's younger legs could better cope with the Tigers' pace.

2007-01-23T17:25:00.000+08:00

What is the purpose of me being at the shop?

1 - to earn my share of profits

2 - to take over the business after a year

However, I believe he's not being sincere about these two. He doesn't want to share profits, nor does he want to happily hand over the business to me any time.

If not, where is my Profit and Loss Statement? So when he says we make a profit, we make a profit and if we don't, then we don't? What kinda profit-sharing partnership is this?

And where is our agreement in black and white? It's already been a few months. If someone else was to offer to pay cash for the business tommorow, what'd happen to me? I have no insurance.

If all he wants is cheap labour, on the pretext of me running the business on his behalf, he can look somewhere else. It's not happening.

I'm a working partner, I deserve more respect.

2007-01-23T08:43:00.000+08:00

I notice from my morning runs that no matter how slow I go, I'm still faster than other joggers.

That doesn't necessarily mean that I'm fitter though. It just means my strategy is better. At least that's how I see it and I think it's applicable to life in general as well.

I have to say that some of the important elements of this strategy of mine were imparted to me by my father in the little time that we "hung out", weird as it seems. He was a warrant officer in the old armed forces. I emphasize "old" because they were sadistic back then. Here's what I do.

1) I don't get stitches in my stomach even if I don't warm up, so I don't really emphasize on this. Saves time that could otherwise be used for more important things like blogging.

Instead, knowing that my knees and my back are my weakest body parts, I just kinda bend down and touch my toes a few times while waiting for the lift down.

2) Then I walk to the traffic light which is also my start point. I use this walking time to sashay and show off my bulging thigh muscles to the morning office ladies who are on their way to work.

3) When the light turns green, I run. I can't be certain but from my experience I gauge the whole distance to be not more than 4km. It's short, but I run every other day and I'm not actually training for a marathon. It's called condition training. My season doesn't start in June every year (army reservist) and I don't step up my training till April.

a) Here's the important bits:

i) Breathing technique - tongue on the ceiling of your mouth as you run. This way, you stop yourself from breathing entirely from the mouth which would effectively make your throat dry. Instead, you'd breathe from both your nose and your mouth.

ii) Arm movement - the choo choo train. As the name suggests, you have to keep your arm moving like a choo choo train. Each time you thrust your arm forward, you actually move a few inches ahead too and every little bit of effort helps to get you there at the fastest possible time.

iii) Leg movement - NEVER walk. Have you noticed that even if you shuffle your feet forward, it's still faster than walking? Because it is, and it's not tiring. So don't be a lazy butt and start walking. Tip toe if you must. It's still faster than walking.

In the course of my life as a captain in various sports or an army sergeant, I always urge my charges to not STOP and keep on moving. I'll kick their butts no matter on the field, on the road or on the track. In time, they actually become fitter than when they started and would eventually thank me for encouraging them.

4) I stop at the same traffic light on the other side and walk to the little fitness corner near my place. I don't do any cooling down stretches. Instead, since I'm all still pumped and all, I utilize two of the equipments available there.

a) I pull myself up on the chin up bar and freeze while counting "one thousand, two thousand..." up to "ten thousand". Again my purpose is not to build rippling muscles. This exercise conditions my upper body to get used to my body weight.

b) To ascertain that my upper body remembers what weight to get used to, straight after that I crook my elbows at 90 degrees and count up to "ten thousand" again before I slowly let myself down. This is so that none of my body parts gets shocked and injured from any sudden movement, especially after being frozen for a while.

5) Then I do some diamond push ups on the sit up bench coz the floor's dirty. I do ten, slowly and deliberately. I do this so my arms don't get any weaker than it is. Diamonds are also for those who wants to build their chest muscles. The reason I have to maintain the size of my chest muscle is because my tummy cannot stop getting fatter. Hence when I put on a shirt, people think I'm not fat. Heh. It's all tactical. ;-)

6) Then I turn around and do some modified sit ups. My back is flat on the bench, my palms are flat on my not so flat tummy, my knees bent with my feet flat on the surface. Imagine that. Then with my eyes fixed at the sky, I start.

The key point of my modified sit ups is that I don't really "sit up". I only go halfway up 20 times with my back still straight. While I'm halfway up, I freeze there for a second during each count and go back down slowly with my head NOT touching the bench.

The purpose of this exercise is so that I don't hurt my poor bad back and still get to salvage whatever I can of my stomach muscles somewhere beneath my flabby tummy.

How is my strategy applicable to life in general again?

Simple - every little effort counts.

2007-01-22T09:49:00.000+08:00

I believe my life is finally turning around.

Hence, the new blog. No. 4 since 2003.